Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Proper Way of Caring

Once again, I realized the my way of caring was wrong. It was not the first time I noticed it, but it will be the last time i mentioned about it. Because.. I decided to change.

Humans are very foolish. They like to listen to nice things, i don't deny i'm one of the 'foolish humans' too. Well, who dislike compliments and flattery?  That's not important anyway, what makes humans really foolish is they are very reluctant to listen to 'bad things' whether or not it comes from goodwill or pure criticism. And that's the mistake i made.

Oh well, give you few examples.

A person eats unhealthy food.
I say: Wah, why you eat such food? It's so unhealthy!

A person always use rude words in conversation.
I say: Don't keep saying vulgar words. It drops your image.

A person who is in bad posture.
I say: Your posture is very bad. You should sit properly.

That's what i did previously. Those words were from good intention. It is done out of caring. If that person isn't in the 'care list', i wouldn't have bothered about what repercussion that is going to happen to that person. However, we all know that people don't like to be 'taught'; they like to be admired instead. So, most people do not appreciate what i did, while instead most of them did not like the things i said. I realized this 3 years ago, but i did not do anything about it. I simply gave up that person and ignore that person forever.

But now.... I decided to change.  There's a reason why smart people are called smart; why friendly people are sociable. And now it's the time i'm going to change... to become smarter and friendlier.
Don't like to hear those words? Fine.. I'm not going to say those things anymore. It's not my business anyway.   Why would my attempt of making them better in the future has to end up as me being blamed and disliked? Totally not worth it. As a self centered person, i never do good deeds for no reasons. I'm not a great angel who is so kind till that extent that would tolerate people blaming me for trying to help them. You could question: maybe it's my way of putting those words doesn't sound polite enough. Partially true, but no matter how polite you are, when it is said repeatedly, no one is going to like it. And why would i go tru such mess for trying to be good?

So, this is what i'm going to do in the future:

A person eats unhealthy food.
I say: Those food are so tasty!
In mind: "let's just hope that you arent going to get cancer" 

A person always use rude words in conversation.
I say: Haha.. That's so funny.
In mind: "such a rude person"

A person who is in bad posture.
I say: (nothing)
In mind: "it's just so ugly!"

People evolve. And i evolve. 
I am becoming more self centered for the sake of myself. People can survive on their own without my comments. (Not that they will pay heed to my comments as well) But, well, for my own good, i think this change is necessary. Everyone loves to listen to good stuffs isn't it? Imagine the difference between the moment i said "the food is so delicious!" and "the food is so unhealthy!", which one would you prefer? Needless to answer, coz i know the answer.  


Shwu Fei said...

can i be the exceptional?
I prefer those critic that is good to me..
yes, i agree, some people really like to lie to themselves but maybe...when you give the opinion, should depends the timing and situation..