Monday, February 28, 2011

Ethics of Care

Today, our lecturer taught us "Ethics of care" in Corporate Ethics class. It is an ethic that emphasizes caring for the concrete well-being of those near to us. Well, i think i seriously lack of it.

Being a very selfish person, i often feel surprised when there are people who care for me as it is something i did not expect in this world of self-centered people. Since i rarely care for others, i wouldnt expect others to care for me either. And due to this, i'm easily touched if there's someone who actually cares about me. 

Of course, some of the cares are fake, as in they are insincere. It's not really difficult to differentiate which care is sincere and which isnt, because i'm quite experienced in giving fake cares too. But well, I am still grateful for the fake cares, at least they tried an effort to fake it out, which is worth being thankful of (although it wouldnt make me feel touched)

Would i ever change from a self-centered person to another Mother Teresa? I wonder.

The world has been too nice to me, and perhaps i should let go of some of my self-interest and try to sacrifice for others. We cannot always be the one who Receives all the time, someone has to be the one who Gives sometimes right?  That's a typical "easy to say; difficult to implement" statement.

Friday, February 25, 2011

the Emo bin? not for this post!

My roommate said, i had been writing too many emo posts, and i might as well change the name of the blog to emo bin instead of memory bin. So, i decided to write something non-emo this time. Frankly, at this moment, i still havent thought of what i wanted to write. Hmm... give me few seconds to think...

Let's talk about something funny:
"It was winter... and a bird was flying and suddenly it fell dead due to the coldness..."
erm.. funny right? if you've been 'cold'ed, then it's alright. If you are still wondering what the story means, then probably u gotta go meet more people and interact more often. It's just a typical cold joke.

Okay, let's be serious. I am still not sure what should i write. Maybe i should blog about that, yesterday a friend of mine gave me an i-shuffle. I was quite touched seriously. The most expensive gift that i receive from friend, and it is not a Shared gift. (as in a gift that a bunch of people shares the cost)  Thanks to that friend, although i havent started using it yet (but at least i downloaded itunes). Sometimes i just feel blissful for being so blessed. My life has been too good until i would get frustrated for tiny-miny problems and issues. :-/

Life is a long road. Can I presume the road is always smooth and safe? lol, suddenly the mood of the post is turning into a more solemn and emo atmosphere. Let's leave it then. One advice: There are always friends who are very nice to you despite how you treat them. Find out those friends and treat them nicely. What for treating some other friends very nice while they didn't even care to bother? For those friends who you treated them very well but never give you back the treatment you think you deserve, just forget about them, live your life man. You don't need them!

ps: i guess i can really change the blogname into Emo Bin already. lol

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Sunday, February 20, 2011

My batchmate/housemate?

Sunday night... You know what Sunday night means to me? It's a typical Emo night for me. As usual, i'm slightly emo now but fortunately, I'm just slightly emo.

I was actually quite grateful that my batchmates asked me out for dinner yesterday night. It was a little bit far, my original intention was to create a "i am busy" excuse and skip it. However, they are my batchmates, who i thought they had long forgotten me. Instead of indulging myself into the world of PC games, i know i should go out to join them. I need to socialize, rather than doing the laptop-facing activities that i do all the while. I know i'm lonely too, it's great to meet friends and laugh over stupid jokes. Oh well, most of the time i was the only one laughing. I dun understand why they didnt find it funny. Or perhaps i'm just too happy to meet them, that keeps me cheerful.

It has been sometime since i spend time with my batchmates. Well, as an IT student, we will just have that 'gap' after our internship period. Internship was the time we never meet each other for more than 1 year. And yeah, i felt so batchmateless last semester. It is difficult, as my batchmates are going to graduate later than me while i graduate together with seniors (engineering). Sometimes i feel i'm more like the batchmate of my seniors instead. Maybe others wouldnt feel the situation and feeling i had, i sometimes do not know where should i put my 'loyalty' to. My batchmates? or my seniors who had internship and graduate together with me? This is just so weird. Simple example of a dilemma i face is to choose who should i have my dinner with: My housemates (seniors) or my batchmates.. Sometimes it's just hard to decide and select. And probably my batchmates too felt that i was 'away' and 'disloyal' to them already. And that's the reason why i feel so joyous when they asked me for dinner last night.

How about my coursemates? I have 3 chinese coursemates. Sadly, one goes missing, i suppose he has gone to the LOST world and had some fun with some dinosaurs. Another coursemate, taking different subjects and timeslot which make us hard to meet with. And yeah, he is introvert, locking himself in his room watching drama all days and nights. So the third one, my 'true' coursemate, we will only interact with each other only regarding academic stuffs. We have too much of different thoughts and opinions to talk about the other stuffs.

Hmmm... despite all those, i am still glad that i met them and befriended them. All of them are (used to be) close with me, will never forget them after i graduate. The people are the only one that i will miss after i grad. (well, as if i have graduated now) Few more months left, let's appreciate and cherish the little time we have.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Lonely Home

It is bad...
Nowadays i am consistently feeling lonely and emo for no reasons. It's like part of my life just goes blank without her. But i never regret it, i know that's the right thing and the best thing to do. Perhaps i'm still not used to it, especially when i'm bored.

I didn't really change, i think. I'm still as lazy as before, or perhaps even lazier. I'm bored.. i crave to socialize with people.. and crave for trips.. and frankly, i crave for pure happiness. Hedonism, yeah, that's the word. Pleasure, pleasure and pleasure.. I'm poisoned... by the toxic of wanting to have eternal happiness.....

Okay, enough of my dream of eternal pleasure. it's reality here, and humans can't be always happy. Some people have 3 kinds of mood, positive, neutral and negative.. But not for me, i would only have either positive or negative mood, i rarely feel neutral. In other words, im either happy or sad, no in between. The good thing about it is, i feel happy more often than others; bad thing is: i feel sad more often than others too.

Yeah, now i'm in Ipoh. It was quite lonely in UTP, especially when my roommate and housemates and batchmates are busy. It is even lonelier at home. Oh.~ i miss my roommate. Does it sound gay? I hope not. haha.

Anyway, it's almost time for me to sleep.. I'm feeling so sleepy now.. direct influence from my roommate. Surely i would have to thank him, if his influence could make my face recover from the swarms of pimples. Goodnite.. and i hope i can have a more cheerful tomoro. Tonight... was bad.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day

Love is in the air~~
but not me. Love is very far away from me at the moment, which is supposed to be a good thing.

Anyway, 1 hour plus more to go, for this V day to be ended.
I have a rather special Valentine's Day though. On this special day, i decided not to sign in facebook! oohoo~~
1 more hour to go and i can go to my favourite website.

Waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting... i'm just addicted to facebook.

oh~ KL again

It was an abrupt and sudden decision. And yeah, I went to KL again. Reason? For fun, it’s as simple as that.

What I did there? Sing K, Movies and Playing games at cyber café, something that I could do in Ipoh as well. Now I know the real reason I went to KL: Friends.

Again, I enjoyed having those outings with Talung, Wern Yet, Ken and Tet Khiun. What I really like about it was the stressless moment, the pure holiday fun kind of mood. Life has too much troubles and unwanted incidents; vacation with friends is definitely a way for myself to escape from it.

Of course, the motivators that make me choose to go KL instead of Penang are:
  1. Tet Khiun’s exceptional welcoming behavior
  2.  Wern Yet’s birthday

I always feel uneasy for troubling Tet Khiun to stay over at his house. I know it definitely brings inconvenience to him and his housemates. And due to this, I don’t want to continuously giving him trouble by staying over his house, I don’t want to make him feel like I was manipulating him or what. But his welcoming behavior makes me feel comfortable of staying over again and thus it serves as the main motivator for me to come over to KL.

Wy’s birthday is another motivator. And well, I didn’t even know whether he would actually have time to meet me. In other words, I would have gone to KL regardless. However, I did really want to let him have a personalized birthday celebration if he doesn’t have one on his birthday. Sharing birthday celebrations all the time could be quite disappointing sometimes (it’s worse if the celebration falls a few days after one’s birthday). I did throw a birthday celebration for him, a crude one though. I felt a little bit embarrassed of it, it could be the worst celebration I ever did for a friend. Although I kinda put the blame on his not-so-supporting friends, I know I could always do a better celebration despite the un-supporting friends. So, I actually felt bad for it. But what’s done was done, and I did throw him a personalized birthday. And well, I’m not his closest friend or girl friend, thus I think it should be sufficient, though I could do better.  Mentioned bout the celebration, I admit I was the organizer of it. But I too was impressed by Talung, Ken and Jessica.  They were ‘literally’ celebrating his birthday twice, only something that closed friends would do.

To shorten the post, I decided to summarize some important points/events of the trip into few point forms. (Although I originally intended to write each of them into one paragraph, causing this post to be another super long post)
  • Sing-K overall was fun. And I just discovered the most expensive peanuts in the world - Redbox
  •  I get to know a new friend, Jessica.  She is pretty, cute and approachable.
  • For the first time, I purchase movie tickets on uncollected-reserved-seats. Never thought it would actually work, I thought we wouldn’t be able to watch movie that night as the tickets were practically sold out.
  • All’s Well Ends Well 2011 is hilarious. Lol. There were some scenes that cause me to laugh uncontrollably.
  • I did something illegal by staying over at some place. And I enjoyed it. XP
  • I felt guilty for abandoning Tet Khiun for whole day.
  • My sense of direction was not so bad after all. I managed to find my way from one place to another place by myself.  And omg, I’m proud of myself. Lol.
  • I didn’t eat any fancy meal throughout the trip but I’m not feeling disappointed. I wonder why. I wanted to eat Chilis for a long time, but I never got to eat it, and still I don’t feel disappointed. I guess the reason should be ‘money running low’
  • I enjoyed playing DoTA at the cyber café. Tried many new heroes and feel pretty comfortable using them, I’m a more pro player right now. LOL
  • I ate breakfast alone in KL Central on Sunday, while I was waiting for my bus departure time. The breakfast actually… taste bad! Should have taken McBreakfast.
  • I felt pretty sad for leaving KL. Uhh! The end of my wonderland...
  •  I felt even sadder when I was driving back to Uni. Yeah, I was in emo mode back then.
  •  I would like to come back to KL more often, provided if I have more money and no disagreement from my parents. KL feels so.. second home.
  •  I didn’t take any pictures. Partly because Wy has a better camera; partly because I have way too much pimples on my face; partly because I don’t really have mood to take picture.

That’s all for this post. Point forms are indeed much easier to read.

Happy Valentine’s Day for the sweet couples! Happy Single-Doesn’t-Matter Day to all the singles, including me! Haha. I made another oath to test my determination again by not logging in facebook on Valentine’s Day. I dunno why I wanted to do it, to avoid some posts that I wouldn’t love to see in fb maybe? 

Roommateless night… I had never been left alone by roommate before. Felt a bit empty, something I wouldn’t feel if I’m not single. Erm… I didn’t mean anything by saying that, dun misinterpret.  Good night!     

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Phone calls

It reminded me of something funny when i was making a call just now.

True story:
Once upon a time (probably 3 to 5 years ago), there was this person A called me through mobile phones. So i picked up the phone and answered the call.

Me:  Hello~
A: Hi.. Are you busy right now?
Me: Yeah, I'm a bit busy at the moment.
A: Then ah, i continue speaking la~~ blablablabla

What's the point of asking me if i was busy or not since he intended to continue speaking anyhow? Speechless.   


Ohlala~ here's my weekend again and it is just Wednesday! It is hard to adapt to the '5 days weekend 2 days study' situation. But i'm loving it. In fact, the reason now i am still at uni is to accompany my friends in uni. Seriously, i do miss them if i go home. One bad thing bout returning home is loneliness. Something that i did not feel such strongly before my break up with gf.. well, ex-gf.

Anyway, I'm pretty proud and glad with my timetable.. Thus, i decided to share to you all, so that you all could get jealous. haha. 9 hours of class per week is just amazing.

Recently feel a bit emo for nothing. Yet to discover the real reason behind those emoness. Or maybe i should say, i'm just lazy to find out the real reason. I'm happy 70% of the time and sad 30% of the time. Just leave it be, shouldn't i? Life is never filled with eternal happiness, sadness has to come into play once a while, isn't it? Oh, i'm so lonely right now. When will my roommate and housemates return?

Monday, February 7, 2011

It is CNY! Nope.. it WAS CNY.

Although CNY lasts for 15 days, it is over for most of us. CNY is a very significant festival to students. It indicates that after this CNY holiday, students will have to suffer greatly to all the things that they had delayed/postponed/ignored before CNY.

New year, new start... but old assignments still have to be completed. The world is cruel, assignments are like debt from 'big ear hole'. They would not stop chasing after you until you return the debt. And of course, while you are in the process of returning the 'debt', new 'debts' would have waiting for you; just imagine your 'big ear hole' teacher/lecturer is grinning evilly behind a dark curtain.

Nevertheless, we have to accept the fact that CNY is indeed over. And the suffering time has finally here. There is no escape, it's time to work your ass out to pay off the debts. (well, probably you wouldnt need your ass to pay off the debts, unless....) oh.. this is just bad, i realize i'm getting more vulgar. Just forget that i ever typed those things.

One great thing about CNY is, besides it gives me angpau, which in turn means i would have more pocket money, it also indicates that i'm young. It is so obvious by seeing how many new pimples are 'born' on my face. They are my youth symbols. Thanks to them, now i look more masculine as i have many scars... on my face. Not like Squall's scar in Final Fantasy 8 though. Mine is cooler, it reminds people of our amazing and wonderful moon's.... surface.

As i mentioned in facebook, it's time to join campaign "tak nak pimples". I know i'm young, but it's time to move on. These pimples should be given to those people who are in need. Me? thank you very much, but i had more than enough. Let's start from sleeping early. and yeah, i know i couldnt manage to sleep early usually. So, this again proves that saying it is much easier than doing it. Another reason why i'm so talkative. (totally out of topic)

Okay, it's time to sleep. Happy "CNY over"! Let's embrace our suffering! May you survive the upcoming tortures and anguish.