Sunday, April 19, 2009

Mental development

(this is the story mentioned in the previous post (my bday) on how I gain an extra bonus mark for my AI test)

Hello readers,

You are lucky to read this post. Why? Everyday every person in this world is thinking of something. Sometimes you might wonder what's running in that person's mind. Although it might not be a secret, but it's unlikely that the person would share with others what he/she is thinking. However, in this post, I'm going to share you this story of exactly what I'm thinking for a particular problem. 

You might think it's immature, you might think that we share the same thinking or you could disagree on what I did; but anyway, I'm very glad that I made that decision and it certainly develops my mental and moral. OK, let's cut off the introduction, the story is like this:

"I took a course called Artificial Intelligence and I had taken the first test of this subject. When the test paper was returned, I saw my mark, it's 49/50, considered quite good. Well, normally, the story should end like this. But complication occurs, my coursemate told me, actually the lecturer gave 2 marks to a question which supposed to carry only 1 mark, which means everyone automatically gets a bonus mark. However, for me, because the lecturer counts the mark by minus'ing' the deducted marks of the wrong answers from the total marks. And thus, I got one mark reduced and scored a 49/50. I could claim that the lecturer miscalculated the marks so that i could get a 50/50 (a nice honour, isnt it?). However, if i do so, the lecturer will find out that she actually gave an extra mark to everyone (it's impossible for a paper that has its marks deducted get full marks.). And if she is 'bad' enough or fair enough, she will 'take' back the extra mark given."

Okay... dilemma occured. There was some sort of fighting inside my mind. Selfishness and greed was my problem. This is what I think, "Everyone gets 1 extra mark but why am I not getting it?" One of my coursemates who scored a 48 (coz his paper is deducted 2 marks) went to the lecturer and after that his mark was changed to 49. Another two characters came into play, they are jealousy and fairness. "A person who scored 1 mark less than me gets the same mark as me. Isnt it pretty unfair?" 

Well, that was the evil side of the thought. Let's see the good side. "49/50 isnt that bad, it's not that I would fail the test because of this 1 mark", just ignore it.  "If i go to claim this mark, and when the lecturer noticed that she gave an extra mark and she wants to 'take' back the mark, then I will be the 'bad guy' who caused everyone else to lose 1 mark".

Decision making: If because of this 1 mark, I will make all other people lose mark, then I will be too selfish. Anyway, it's just 1 mark. So, i decided to keep this silent. Nothing happened, I scored 49 and others who scored 49(actually scored 48), scored 30(actually scored 29) and so on...

After making this decision, although this is the right decision, i think, despite some of my coursemates encourage me to claim that mark. I don't feel really happy for the decision I made. Coz somehow I feel myself "rugi" already. lol... It's like I am not being treated as it should be. Well, just feel very uncomforable in my heart. The temptation and desire of 'wanting that mark' is so high. I guess I usually wont let myself rugi like this in other cases. That's why I was feeling so uneasy for this little 1 mark.  I know this decision is the first step towards overcoming selfishness and greed. If I gave up on this small matter by claiming the mark, I'm sure later on, in the future, every decision I made will be purely based on self-interest. That's why, no matter how hard I feel, I keep to the decision I made. (always feel a bit uncomfortable when ppl mentioned bout the mark)

Supposingly, this shud b the end of the story. However, there's another thing happen on the day of my birthday which was around 2 weeks later after the test paper was returned. That was a good news and it put an end to my misery feeling of unsatisfaction and proved that my decision was right. 

"On last friday, the lecturer realized that she had given an extra mark to everyone. And she said fine, she would just give us the bonus mark. Then I asked her if I could claim the mark, and she said ok."

Although I'm not completely get over with the selfishness thingy, coz eventually i still go and claim the mark, but (i know after although no but, but i still want to use it, :P) if claiming the mark won't affect the others, why shouldnt I go and claim the mark? right? agree with me? lol. mark is still mark, cannot give it up easily.. lol

Okay... in conclusion, the lesson of the story is to do the right thing, not to do the thing that gives you the most 'short-term' benefit. Everything starts with the first step. Now I have taken the first step, whenever something similar happen, I will do the same thing. If something even more serious than this, it will be time for taking the second step. BUt most importantly, when u have taken the first step, it wont be hard to take the following steps.. Sorry for this immature thinking of mine, hope you all learn something from me. :)


Steward Baba said...

I would say it is something to do with Self-sacrifice?

I did it a number of times, eventhough get nothing in return. But not till a level of jeopardizing myself la. haha.

If others feel good, and I am okay. Everything is fine, as long as I am done the right thing. :)

Wei Han said...

steward u have a better thinking than i do.. ;)