Losing weight... again~

Haiz.. lost weight again. Not much though.. just a bit. but that certainly is indicating me something. I suppose it is not much a big secret. Okay, my weight is 53 kg currently (it could be 52.5 kg jz now, but well, sometimes i choose to lie to myself, pretty normal right?) and my height.. assuming i never get taller since i last measured, shud be 173cm. Guess what's my Body Mass Index (BMI)? Mine is 17.7. To be slightly fit into a normal category (based on malaysian standard), one has to be at least 18.5 to be barely called NOT underweight. How bout urs, calculate urs and compare with mine (weight(kg)/height square(m)), not many have bmi that is lower than me. (i know there are skinnier ppl around, and i feel sorry for them). Okay, so now what?

So, now what? My heaviest record in my life is 54.5kg. I wished i could say 55, but No.. it's still far from it. It's so freaking difficult to gain that 1 or 2 kgs. I gotta eat till i feel tortured then only can increase 0.5 - 1kg at maximum. Ppl say go eat and gym. yeah i know, u gain the 'fat/protein/flesh/energy/meat/watever' from the food and train them to become muscle. But i dun even have the flesh to be trained with. my final goal is to reach 60kgs, then i will b satisfied and would not complain further. And for this year, i wish for 56kgs, which i know it seems like a dream. Even 55kg i aso couldnt break it. 

Anyway, i know what's the true problem here, besides my abnormal metabolism rate or if cacing pita exists in my body.  I dont do exercise; i ate supper; i love fried food and fast food; and i'm not gaining weight. Great~ some ppl might even jealous. Back to the true problem of this, i think mainly is bcoz of my diet: i don't eat breakfast. and i take very few meals and i dont eat snacks. (but i dun und why i ate so much supper before slping and high consumption of fried and fast food never make me fat) Ppl say, eat more. I obviously love to eat more. But i dun want to torture myself to eat more. Doesnt it seem stupid for me to force myself to eat more and i am actually feeling tortured bcoz of eating more? Waste money some more... :/ Perhaps, i shud just dump some food into my mouth every morning regardless how 'no appetite' i am.

Actually, there are quite a lot of female frens who actually told me i look fine as i am now. They told me there's no need to feel bad for the current weight. And i did kinda accepting the fact that i'm not a weight gainer (i know i didnt try as hard as possible, but like i said, i dun wan to torture myself to eat like a great white shark). Perhaps i look just fine now? any opinion? from girls? (i think i'm more concern with their opinions) and from guys? (get some opinion from same gender wouldnt cause harm as well) 

This is another late night post, and tada~ 4am after i posted this out. I wonder sleeping late would cause weight lost or not? lol. Sometimes, i just dun understand why is it so easy to lose weight and so hard to gain weight? i mean.. it should be balanced what. The lose weight rate should be equal to gain weight rate. If i cant gain weight easily, Fine~ but why would i so easy to lose weight? so unfair, but the world is ... never Fair, lol.