The Memory Bin

Nostalgic Songs

2012-01-20T03:31:00.000+08:00

I’m listening songs.. instead of playing the recent playlist, this time I play all the old + new songs in shuffle mode. Some songs really give me nostalgia. How magical music is!

There are certain songs that have hidden link to certain people. When I listen to that song, immediately I will link that song to that person. Fascinating, isn’t it?

Jay’s 稻香 reminded me of my Indochina trip, as I use that song as my alarm.. Damn good to be used as alarm, with the ‘nature’ sounds in the starting of the song. WenPin, Calvin, Kylie, still remember how early we had to wake up to see sunrises? Lol. I remember the exact moment we had to climb up early and sit at the freaking cold tuk-tuk.

We Walk by The Ting Tings directly links to Wernyet. He was the one who recommended me this song. I wouldn’t like this song, not until he told me to imagine the feeling of ‘walking’ to class(somewhere) while listening this song.

Jolin’s 骑士精神 no doubt reminded me of KeanZhi with our high school lyrics memorizing spree. Well, we did sing quite badly, but we enjoyed it. People around us surely hate us. Ah.. I remember another song: 舞娘 by Jolin. He surely knows why I would relate this song to him.

Soba ni Iru Ne (J pop) and Greatest (Gaga) totally reminded me of someone. You know who. It was one of the greatest moments. I miss it, I really do.

Who’s that chick by Rihanna and Billionaire by Bruno Mars reminded me of my ex-roommate Tee. He made me like the song, Billionaire. Who’s that chick is the song we always listen in radio while driving out to lunch & dinner. Of coz, this includes the gang JuiBoon and Chang Hua.

Yeng Lee’s brought me classic old songs.. the one that I remembered most is 相愛很難 by Jacky Cheong and Kak Mui. Realllly really a very touching and loving song.

张玉华’s 雪花飘 and her other songs are definitely my brother’s influence. Without him, I wouldn’t even know who’s the singer.

Ah Mei’s 我最亲爱的 reminded me with Wansin, for some reason that I’m sure she knows why. Miss singing K with her, one of the best K-mates. Although sometimes she will ter-cry while singing… :O lol.

Zombie by cranberries reminded me of Fahmi, my neighbor.. last time while I was in foundation. Haha. He played guitar on this song I guess or his roommate/blockmate. A very great song, I would like to hear him singing again.

Jay’s 我不配 made me think of Wen Pin, and also Yeng Lee. I actually miss the moments where we sang loudly in YengLee’s room. Haha. So sorry to the neighbors for the sound pollution.

I dunno why, but LeeHom’s心跳 made me think of Joon Heng. Although I’m very thankful that he introduced me the legendary “A thousand years” by C.Perri. That’s so amazing! And also, his 你是我的小小鸟 is pretty memorable too. The shrieking voice is not easily produced by any human being. lol

Guess what, Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars reminded me of Talung told me how ZeHao kacau and woke him up just to ask him simple question about this song. Lol.

Beyonce’s Listen -> definitely Talung. He exposed me to this song, not by Beyonce’s voice, but his own voice. You ought to listen to him singing this song. It’s awesome! If he’s singing the other bitchy songs, forget it, you can go for toilet break or something.. there’s no need to stay and listen. Lol.

Lady gaga’s born this way is direct influence by Kar Kar (Kar Wai).. He’s a super duper gaga fan. Totally a living gagapedia.. I think you can get any answer related to gaga from him.

Richard is the one who introduced me CN Blue’s Love. It’s totally amazing! Not much Kpop could attract me that deeply though.

Okay, Better in Time by Leona Lewis links me to TetKhiun. It has been his caller ringtone for quite a long duration few years ago.. Still expecting to listen this C.R.Tone when I called him, haha.

Freeloop reminded me of my another bro, phooi nam. I recall listening this song in his car. Love being the passenger rather than the driver.. enjoy being fetched home. Haha. Had a great outings back then when I was at KL.

Vanilla Twilight by Owlcity links me to Chang Hua; or also known as Vanilla Ice cream by him. A very nice song if you really listen it with full focus.

There’re still many other nostalgic songs in my mind.. But I suppose I should not make this post any longer.. Don’t be disappointed if your name isn’t mentioned here, maybe next time.. (or Never! <-that’s more likely the truth, lol.) Good night, everyone. Perhaps you would like to download the songs I mentioned up there. There were all worth listening if you hadn’t listened them before. I’m sure everyone has their song-diary like mine. Songs are magical, don’t you agree? ;)

Travelling & Vacation

2012-01-08T03:03:00.000+08:00

Was glancing through my friend's blog --> on his vacation in Paris.

Oh well, I have to admit, I'm just glancing through.. looking at the pictures only.. I've been too lazy to read them all. It's not that I am about to go visit that place anytime soon; i've never pictured myself being in Paris anyway.
And that's the issue! I've never pictured myself in Paris or elsewhere.. It's like a dream to me.. Is it my destiny to stuck in Msia whole time?

Thinking bout winter.. thinking bout friendly people.. and thinking bout going wild from my 'shell' that serves to protect my image. I'm a coward.. and i actually wanna run away from many things.. i suppose having a vacation at a place far far away would give me some mental sanctuary, i hope.

Going alone, seems too lonely.. although there's more freedom, flexibility and perhaps some lone ranger's joy. But I wouldnt survive. I know i'm not a independent type of person, though i'm not too dependent either. I would prefer someone to be togetherwhen we had hardship.. or enjoy the precious moments. Joy is to be shared.. If we couldn't share our happiness with others, perhaps the happiness is not much of a happiness in that case.

Anyway, i'm babbling too much. Even myself not really sure what's the motive of posting this. Is this an invitation post to others so that they could invite me for trip along? haha.. Probably yes!

Lonelyman and Boredom

2012-01-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

A lonely man

shall keep himself occupied

and never feel bored

because..

boredom will make him realized

that he's indeed...

lonely...

Lessons learned from Titanic

2011-12-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

Titanic is such a great movie... besides its story of romance and its historical value, there are so much messages in it. Reallly one of the greatest movie, I'm sure you will learn additional lessons whenever u repeat watching it. These are some of the messages i observed and remember:

When Titanic leaves the port, those people who are aboard have no idea they are heading to the path of deaths while the people who couldn't go on board are envy of people who could. Can you tell who's fortunate and who's unfortunate now? Can we certain that the situation we are in are worse than the others whom you envy?
Rose is the lady.. the lady of the family, of high class family where every lady is expected to behave like a lady. Be gentle, polite.. and restricted. The mens are talking bout business and money on the ship. The third class peoples are having fun in their own parties, beers, dances and songs.. Who lives a happier life?
What the boss said could be wrong, and sometimes we had to insist on our stands. The boss asked to speed up the ship, and there it goes.. unable to make a halt or turn in time to avoid the iceberg.
The world has always consist of 2 kinds of people, the noble ones and the selfish ones. Most people are selfish, i admit i would do whatever i could to stay alive. The crews on the ship are admirable, including those who serve people, who gave ppl the life jackets, who coordinate the escape, who play the music.. they all died, with honour. Those who survived by doing improper actions are bound to deal with their guilt forever. Thus, make sure we did not do things that we were ashamed of, die honourably is better than live shamefully.
Everyone is touched by the romance between rose and jack, and think of rose's mother and fiancée as the villain. From their point of views, if you are Rose's mother.. definiltey you would do the same. hope the daughter married to a financially strong man while saving the family situation, with element of sacrificing her daughter marriage. And if you are rose's fiancee, what the hell! ur fiancee is having an affair with another guy. And you actually didnt really do anything wrong that deserves that. (the act of violence comes up after Rose's been hanging out with Jack) I would have taken the gun and shoot the guy as well.. or perhaps the woman.. if i'm really in anger.
Bribery exist in every kind of situation. Human nature of greed. But in times of desperate moments, even bribes would do no effect in those situations.
While clinging on the 'board' waiting for helps, jack keeps on encouraging and motivating Rose to stay strong, stay alive. Well, did Rose support Jack to keep strong and stay alive? More than half of his body is still in the water.. and he didnt complain bout being cold, and tired. what he did instead was to try his best to encourage and support rose while forcing her to make a promise to not give up. Jack sacrifices unconditionally.. and for Rose's part, do not always think of receiving.. think of the people who are giving actually need the exact same thing they are giving.

That's all came out from my mind at the moment. I'm sure there are so much more hidden lessons in it, that i've mis-looked or forgotten. Feel free to share out what others messages you obtain from it, if not stated here.

Contradicting Thoughts to watch a movie

2011-12-26T12:53:00.000+08:00

Long time never been to cinema already..
Saw there are quite some nice movies up these days.. Perhaps I've been too long never go cinema, thus the nice movies pile up like a hill.

Anyway, i wanna watch movie..
but i dun wanna watch alone..
but i dun wanna ask ppl to watch together...
...
yeah... have u seen the contradicting point?

Continue my contradicting thoughts~

What a surprise

2011-12-26T01:44:00.000+08:00

Someone just told me that he/she is not straight.

What a surprise!!

Something Funny that happened!

2011-12-17T20:55:00.001+08:00

It was really funny.

It happened today when I was on my way to buy my lunch.. I was thinking of buying KFC as I really miss the zinger burger. So, I drove my wife, Proton Persona to a nearby KFC.. (which is not really near btw)

On my way to that KFC, there's a rather serious traffic jam ahead. Normally I wouldn't really care about it, would have just stayed in my car listening songs from RedFM (yeah, this is the channel i listen these days, not bad) while waiting for the traffic jam to resolve. But today was different, it was such a serious traffic jam that no car is actually moving..

I've waited for like 20 minutes and there was still no changes with the situation. Then people started to get frustrated. Some of the impatient drivers started to make their cars speak (yeah, there's a word for it-- honk). After that, some of the more 8 (erm... synonym for 'curious') drivers started to get out of their cars to see the situation ahead.. At first, i was very patient for the situation. But after anohter 10 minutes, i started to become a bit curious also.. "WHAT actually happened in front??" was a big question in my head. After a minute of short dilemma on whether to go out c or not, I made my mind and turned off my car's engine, heading to the 'crime scene'.

While I was walking near to the 'crime scene', there are a lot ppl approach that area as well. Most of them were as curious as me.... And finally... we saw the reason why it had such a big traffic jam!

Guess what? The reason that caused such a heavy traffic jam was because...
"There's a tensed battle between Pikachu and Harry Potter!!"

...
..
.

Yeah.... In case u are not aware, your reaction to the sentence above was the 'something funny that happened' mentioned in the title. LOL. (long time never write crappy post, heee)

loneliness - "It takes time.."

2011-12-16T10:55:00.000+08:00

When I first came to Kuantan,

I was lonely.

And people told me..

"It takes time.."

I believe them

So I wait...

Then they say

you shouldnt be waiting

you should get new friends

coz "it takes time...

to find new friends.."

I tried..

and i got new friends

but i still feel lonely..

then they say

"it takes time...

for new friends to become closer"

I believe them..

but i didnt take action

coz i'm lazy.

however now...

i dun really feel lonely

... anymore.

it's true that....

"it takes time"

for me to feel less lonely..

just that, instead of

"it takes time to get closer friends"

what happened to me was..

"it takes time to adapt to the loneliness"..

and i've adapted it.

Not proud

2011-12-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

I'm not proud of myself..
due to this this that that.

Definitely, some ppl worse than me, i know that.
However, being proud of oneself is not an issue of comparing with others, but a matter of comparing with own self standard.

There's ONE major thing that i feel really ashamed of. Wonder if I still can change~

Hope he is well~

2011-12-01T19:35:00.000+08:00

Received news bout my fren's dad passing away.
It must be torturing. Hope he can cope with the loss.
Kind reminder to everyone of us to appreciate the time we have with family.

Loneliness and Friends

2011-11-20T16:16:00.000+08:00

I've been lonely for days... hiding in my room read novels and watch series most of the time. There's mixed feelings within me. Sometimes I think i don't need friends at all; sometimes i miss some of my old buddies back then; sometimes i hate some of my old friends for some reasons that cannot be revealed; and sometimes i think some of my 'friends' are useless and not worthy to be 'thought' as friends anymore.

Useless Friends
Let's begin with these useless friends who arent worthy to be considered as your friends at all. Do you realize that you actually have a lot of 'junk' friends. Just like your inbox, there are many mails. And sometimes there are some junk mails and spams that you don't need and never give you benefits at all. It will be good if we can categorize them well and place them separately. But sometimes, we did not notice that, some of the junk mails or spams are actually stored in our inbox. Just like what happened in our friendship context, some of the friends are junk and rubbish, but we thought they are friends. That's so wrong. It's time to reorganize my inbox to filter out some of the junk mails from it.

Hated Friends
There's contradicting feelings towards a friend sometimes, mostly happened to friends who are very close to us or used to be very close to us. It's a complicated feeling, i love them but hate them at the same time. Anyway, I dont wish to talk about this in detailed.

Lovely Friends
I really miss some of my buddies back then. I enjoyed talkin to them, hanging out with them and i miss those moments. Too bad, they are very far from me, and i suppose.. what i can do is continue missing them; and that's it.

Don't need Friends
And too bad, most of the time when I'm reading novel or watching series, i think i dont need any friends. And sometimes i neglected my old friends, and i'm sure some of them are pretty used to it.

After about 1 week of me complaining bout loneliness when i moved into Kuantan, i just noticed something. I realized i'm lonely not because it's forced by the environment, surroundings or people. It's because i chose to be alone, how ironic is that. Analyzing it, i listed out the potential reasons for it:

I don't need friends. Most of the time I'm dating with my laptop for novels and series, ignoring everything else
I'm getting to picky in selecting new friends. When we are older, we are wiser and more brilliant, sometimes it's just very easy to see through the real intentions of people's actions and behavior. They aren't looking for friends, they are just looking at the benefits of befriending you.
I avoid meeting or getting close with new friends. I'm not comfortable and not ready to meet new friends and get close with them. Probably i miss my old buddies so much that it would disappoint me if they are not up to my expectation.

In conclusion, I'm lonely... and will ever be lonely... unless and until I'm ready to walk out from the lone-rangerhood.

A New Start in a New Place

2011-11-12T15:33:00.000+08:00

And so here i am, away from home and KL, ended up at a strange place that I've never been before.
This is the first time I came to east coast, and I'm gonna based here permanently. How odd it was, I can imagine that I end up staying at Penang, KL, Kedah, Johor or even Malacca, but not Kuantan.

Kuantan is a nice place though, similar to Ipoh, quite peaceful in a way. There's heavier traffic jam issue here and food is slightly more expensive. A nice place to stay i would say. However, I'm not very glad to be here, coz i'm lonely.

I've no friends here. All my colleagues are new and M (dont mean to be racist), housemates are uncles and aunties or.. grandma? Nearest friend is at least few hundred kilometres away. How sad is that?

A new job position, new place and new people.. it's a new start. Hope i can cope well in this pleasant place.

Fire/explosion in petrol station!

2011-10-30T02:10:00.000+08:00

Watch this, and share with your friends.. especially ladies. ;)

Summary:
1. don't reenter your car when pumping petrol.
2. discharge your hand before touching the nozzle.
3. don't remove the nozzle if it burns.

Hope it helps. :D

Wish I am still a kid

2011-10-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

"Oh~~ darling don't you ever grow up~"

I wish I am still a kid.

no stress
no expectation
thus no disappointment

having delightful days
upset over tiny matters
and back to cheerful mood within seconds

taken care by elder siblings
loved and pampered by parents
while still complaining that the love given was not enough

that time,
when i was sick
they fed me food

that time,
when i was asleep
they made sure i was covered by blanket

and now I'm alone
knowing nothing
yet trying to be independent

afraid of meeting new friends
disgusted by their ugly fakeness
threatened by their potential betrayal

scared of getting close to friends
worried that i'll get over dependent on the friendship
anxious that our friendship may fade away and never come back

fear of having a girl friend
i dont know if i'm ready and..
i dont want to break someone's heart again

understanding the world
selfishness greed jealousy and violence
even the kindest person may fall into these traps

i'm disappointed
i'm upset
mainly on myself
that i failed to..
..become the ideal 'me' that i wish to be.

"oh~i dont wanna grow up
wish i'd never grown up.
it could still be simple.."

Vision, mission, objectives, goals and targets.

2011-10-23T20:36:00.000+08:00

Don't worry, this post is not going to teach you what's the difference between vision, mission, objectives, goals and targets. We'd always see/hear/feel/touch/sense about these words from classes, company, proposals or sometimes even from advertisement. Let me tell you, these words are actually very important. It's essential to at least have one vision/mission/objective/goal or target in your life. Else, you would be living for nothing, like me now.

Me -> a lazy person. Define lazy: Lazy is an adjective to describe a person who is not willing to do work that requires effort. As a lazy person, I am reluctant to do something extra from what I need. I need to eat, sleep, play, have fun~ those are something that I need, thus my laziness will not stop me from doing those. Helping people, pleasing people, slapping people and killing people are something that I don't need. Thus, laziness is one of the factors that can hinder me from doing them. To do something that I don't need, I require motivation or rewards. Vision/mission/objective/goal or target are some of the examples that could motivate me.

Okay,back to the topic. I'm now visionless, missionless, objectiveless, goaless and targetless. So, basically nothing can drive and motivate me to do something. Unlike my school life, although I'm still visionless and missionless, I have goals and targets. My target is to get good result in particular semester or year. And my goal is to acquire a good job. However, now I have started working. And I lost my goal and target. And I'm idle.. living like zombie or a useless person.

Recalling what I learned from my course, goal and objective has to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-constraint. For example, getting a 4 flat in each semester fulfills SMART: it's specific; it's measurable; it's attainable; it's relevant and it has a time constraint. But now, I have none of such goal. I have no motivation to do anything other than eat play sleep and have fun. I'm doomed!

Most people have a vision of becoming somebody, mission of achieving something, objective of being what kind of person, goal of getting this and that as well as a target of reaching something. I have NONE! Again, i repeat, I'm doomed! I wish i could be more ambitious. It's not easy to find a purpose in my job though, coz my work currently is... speechless.

Anyway, this post is just to tell you that: you gotta have Vision, mission, objectives, goals and targets in your life. It is necessary!

Meaningful activities?

2011-10-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

Doing meaningful activities? *smirk*

as if~

4 hours for 5 seconds.

2011-10-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

Just had my convocation ceremony yesterday..
and... exactly 4 hours are wasted just for 5 seconds walking + getting scroll, a fake scroll some more. It is very boring, i can't imagine how my parents stand it.

Convocation means nothing to me. But since, the graduation robe is like my one and only chance to wear it. So, i have no regret attending ler.

For future graduates, bring along ur ipad, notebook, story book and whatever... to the ceremony. It's going to be very very boring.

By the way, thanks for those giving me convo gifts. I really thought i'm going to go home empty handed, thanks for the surprises. :)

Return~

2011-10-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

Just came back from 2 weeks of training... It feels weird.

I'm quite happy that I finally get to reunite with my laptop (i didn't bring it along to the training). And be able to do things that I like (games, novel, drama...)

But I'm quite sad that I gotta go back to work and live my rotten life when I'm not at work.

There are some changes with my thoughts after I came back from the training. I can't describe it clearly, but i don't think it is a good change. Things are like getting distant to me... many things aren't as important as I perceived before... Hmm.. it's hard to describe this feeling. Coz it's very abstract.

2 weeks in training made me forget my usual routine. I cant even remember what items that I usually bring to work. I'm a bit lost when I return to my KL home. I lost track with my tasks at work... I'm so blur.

Actually, things didn't change much here, but awkwardly, I feel I'm older now.

Game: Squeeze the Hell Out of Ya

2011-09-13T10:31:00.001+08:00

Today, without realizing, I participated an awesome game, called Squeeze the Hell Out of Ya. Let me slightly explain the details about this game:

“Game: Squeeze the Hell Out of Ya

Game Conditions: LRT stopped working.

Game Preparation: Each participant is required to stand at the origin station for 30 minutes, doing nothing.

Game Procedure:

When the LRT finally arrived, try your best to squeeze and crush other passengers inside the LRT. Consider yourself LOSE if you couldn’t manage to squeeze in.
Once you squeezed in to the LRT, try to get into a combat mode posture. The LRT will stop around 3-10 minutes at every other LRT stations, at that time, try to survive being squeezed and crushed by other participants. Because the squeezing process might take a long time, do advise you to slowly enjoy the process of being crushed. If you broke ur bones during the process, consider yourself LOSE.
Survive your way until you reach the destination. Fight for oxygen with other participants. Consider yourself LOSE if you fainted due to insufficient oxygen. (Warning: not suitable for participants with asthma)
Upon reaching destination, try to bombard your way out of the station. Remember to be grateful and prepare your winning speech that thank people who supported you all the way during your game. You may cry, but make sure you bring your own tissue to wipe out the tears.”

So, I joined this game with a lot of expectations. Firstly, I stood for 30 minutes, slowly absorbing the vitamin D given from the sunlight. Then, the LRT finally came, and I succeed to squeeze and crush the other passengers in it. The sense of achievement was so great. Then in each and every station, I was being squeezed and crushed by others. It’s like a good training to my body, it helps to withstand pressure and perhaps serves as a basis to future Yoga practice. Finally, fighting for oxygen was good to lung activity, because it tries to help you to breathe in with less air, so that when there is insufficient oxygen in the future, you can survive. I found that all the activities of this game was quite helpful... until there’s some unexpected complication happened at Damai Station.

Origin, Complications and Destination

As you can see, my origin station was Wangsa Maju while my destination is KLCC. While I was having fun playing the game, the excitement was gone when I reached Damai Station. This is because the game got ‘fatal error’! Originally, the game should end at KLCC station. But due to the fatal error, the game was aborted at Damai Station. In the LRT, we heard from PR system saying that Damai will be the last station. The train will reverse back to Wangsa Maju instead of proceeding to KLCC. Shocked by the news, I rushed out from the train (by bombarding my way out) and I met some of my similarly unfortunate friends who are also the participants of the game. Since it was just 2 stations away from KLCC, we decided to take taxi/bus/walk to KLCC station.

However, the reality is cruel. There were many unsatisfied participants were trying to get taxi already. Since I’m generally a very very gentleman person, so I don’t fight with the other participants, I generously let them get into the taxis. So, we waited for bus, and finally we saw a bus that will go to KLCC. Excited, Happy, Relieved mood…….. was gone when the bus didn’t even stop for us (it was way too full). We wanted to walk, but it was separated by a highly dangerous highway. So, the game turned into disaster; we have no other ways but to wait for the game to be fixed (back and wait for LRT).

Surprisingly, the game was fixed, and the LRT was back to its normal service. However, there are too many people lining up ahead. Most of us admit that we adi LOSE in the game, as we couldn’t manage to squeeze in the train. Every train can at most squeeze in one person at each gate only. So, being a brilliant person, we backtracked to the previous LRT station, which is Dato Keramat station and try our luck there to squeeze in the LRT. And guess what, we succeeded! We crushed some people’s bones in the lrt and managed to get in. We managed to bombard our way out to KLCC too!

As a result for this story, we were late to the office since we were like stuck at the game for 2 hours. And we concluded that this wonderful game should run more testing before it is released out to the participants. More Alpha and Beta testings are required. I hope the RapidKL people will take my advice.

Hey, let's find a day to meet up.

2011-09-11T15:47:00.000+08:00

"Hey, long time no c, find one day yum cha lo"
"Where are you now? I'm there too, maybe one day we can meet up"
"Perhaps someday we can watch movie together"
"Let's try to meet up and have lunch one day.."

I think I'd said that countless times. However, it's just 'saying' but there's no actual implementation of the 'saying'. Perhaps it has become one of the favourite line in a typical conversation. Or maybe those words are free to use, so i've been using it so many times without restriction.

Anyway, i did meet up with some close friends this weekend; and i really did enjoy hanging out with them. Hope our friendship wouldn't fade so easily.

By the way, let me say something that is out of the topic. As i mentioned in facebook, i had a weird dream yesterday night. lol. It was.... I also dunno how to describe. In that dream, I am actually receiving advices from non-existent dream friends on... which brand of condom is better to use. LOL. I dunno why i had such dream... It's just a short scene though, and that's the start and the end of the dream. Sorry to disappoint you if you do expect more plots from the dream. haha

The Extra One

2011-08-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

Odd one out. That's one of the best description to be used on me in my working environment.
Oh yeah, there's another better description that fits: The extra one.

I'm like the invisible one at work.
In fact, there's no difference between having me and not having me for my company. There's totally no need for me to exist in that company. Not to mention the company, I did not even have slightest contribution to my department even. It's a weird feeling, to be there, doing nothing and get salary.

I have two other colleagues who joined the company a little bit earlier than me. They are almost as free as I do, but they have internet access and I don't (yet). For some reasons, people of higher positions tend to give them some works to do, but not me, definitely not me. It's a weird situation, very weird.

I know things going to get much better after Raya festival. It's okay~ There's only 3 more working days before Raya comes... I'll be patient for being the Extra one for 3 more days.

Lesbians and Guilt

2011-08-20T15:08:00.001+08:00

Lesbians
On the way back to my room after I had my lunch, i saw two lesbians holding hands. This is not the first time I saw it, and I think it is disgusting. The picture of them holding hands together was just awful. I'm not discriminating their sexual orientation, it's just that I hope they can try not to reveal it so openly. It doesn't matter what they want to do in their house or what, but displaying it so publicly just makes me sick. Especially both girls are tom-boy types with spiky hairs and baggy attire. How should i describe? It's like seeing two girls pretend to be like guys and have a gay relationship, covering both transsexual and gay relationship. Seeing that sight easily spoil my great mood for the day.

Guilt
We were at the same elevator with some of their friends. And once the lift reached my floor level, i couldn't wait to get out of that lift. However, one of their friends was blocking the way, which in my opinion is kinda stupid. Coz she was like standing at the middle of the elevator gate and she doesn't have even a slight intention to give way. However, before I started to growl "excuse me", one of the lesbians tries to indicate her friend to give way, and so she did give way (though it was more like me squeezing through a tiny space gap in between to get out). After getting out of the lift, on the way heading back to my house, I was thinking these few questions:

Why did I disapprove them so much? are they being lesbians something very wrong?
Why did I hate them? and they didn't even try to slightly offend me.
Why did I so care about them being tomboy and les? It's none of my business. Plus, they have their own choices.
What if they are good people? Even if they are les, they certainly can be very nice people as well.
What if I misunderstand them? If they aren't lesbians? What gives me rights to comment them this way?

So, it turns back to the same question. Why did I hate them? They have not offended me, nor do I think lesbians are sinful since everyone has their own right to choose their path(i'm free thinker). Even if they are lesbians, they can be good people as well. And why should I hate any kind of good people in that case? If they aren't lesbians but just close friends who hold hands all the time, the comments I gave just now must be hurtful. And merely because of my initial judgment and wrong perception, it just made me disapprove the two girls so much! It makes me feel Guilty! very guilty. I understand the power of humans' perception, it can simply leads us to a wrong or bad conclusion. In this case, I'm lucky that I 'realized' that I'm being biased to them. But... in our lives, how many times would we 'realize' that we are being unfair to the others due to our own perceptions. All the while, we only blame, criticize and disapprove others but never question our own thinking. I think I learned a vital lesson here: never rely on our initial judgment and biased perception. I hope I can remember this incident and apply it in many other situations in the future. Yeah, I'm just HOPING, coz we all know that, it is not EASY to apply this in our lives. I hope you all learn something from here too.

Leaving from Home to another Home

2011-08-11T21:42:00.000+08:00

So, tonight is the last night I live in my home in Ipoh. I suppose after today, I can't say that I'm still living in Ipoh anymore. I would be only 'staying' at Ipoh rather than living since it is no longer my permanent home.

Kinda miss it actually. I've never really distanced myself from this home since my uni is nearby and I almost go home every weekend during my study life. Home is like a sanctuary for me to avoid stress, troubles and irritating stuffs. Here, I spend my time rotting in front of computer playing games, reading novels, chatting and listening to music. But now, it is the moment to bid farewell to my mosquitoless room and my comfortable bed.

Leaving Ipoh tomoro to my another new home at KL, i have a mixed feeling. I'm excited to be able to start a new adventurous life while feeling anxious of the new changes it will bring to me. I'm not a person who loves changes (due to my lazy nature). Let's hope that my new Home will be as nice as or nicer than my previous home.

Let me have one last happy dream on my comfortable bed in my mosquitoless room tonight before I permanently move out. And I sadly admit, my holiday is ending very very soon...

Jealousy

2011-08-11T01:40:00.000+08:00

Jealousy...
Sometimes i really jealous with someone else.. especially when they are better than me.

Why is someone smarter than me?
Why is someone healthier than me?
Why is someone better looking than me?
Why is someone more hardworking than me?
Why is someone luckier than me?
Why is someone kinder than me?
Why is someone have better achievement than me?
Why is someone ...

I understand everyone has his/her own strength and weakness. Some people got look but no brain. Some people got brain but short life. Some people got luck but worthless.
But still, i will admire people who are better than me in certain aspects, and i hate to be inferior when compared to them. Only if I'm SUPER well rounded.. Haha. i guess i'm just too greedy.

On second thought, if i'm super intelligent, very healthy, have the best look, very lucky, have very positive characteristics, and have superb achievement.... I suppose, the world wouldn't be as interesting as it is. BUT... I dun mind! LOL

Kuching Trip

2011-08-08T03:10:00.001+08:00

This post is about the Kuching trip I had last month. Sorry for posting this so late, was obsessed with novels lately. Anyway, it should be 3 of us going to Kuching from KL. But for some awkward reasons, one of us ffk the trip last minute. So, it's just CH and me flew to Kuching.

Eric and Poh, the lovely couple

It was a 8-days trip, (Wednesday to Wednesday) and the first day is basically nothing much. Besides meeting our precious trip host, Charles who provide us accommodation and transport while being a tour guide himself. We did have a small BBQ dinner with JZ and friends. Basically, the first day was like an intro-day, warming up for next day.

It's worth to mention that the Crazy Charles wanted us to wake up at 6 something am the next day, which is definitely a soul-torturing task for me. Due to my sleep late habit, i found it difficult to sleep early at night. Thus, CH and I ended up sleep at 3am. With only roughly 3 hours sleep, we began our journey at Kuching tour. We were glad to meet with Charles' international friends, Poh and Eric from Thai and US. They were really funny and friendly, we mixed along easily.

That day, we traveled to many places including Orang Utan Park, Crocodile Farm, National Museum, Unimas, Here and There.. lol. Indifferent to our direct and indirect hint that we were tired and exhausted, our host, Charles insisted to bring us to many many places. Hence, most of the time I was sleeping in the car, trying to gain back some energy.

The picture at the left is a big big orang utan that actually made the other small small orang utans afraid and run away..

(lazy to continue writing,.. give up... and back to reading my novel)

...
(continue writing after finished my novel)

Due to laziness, I will continue this post pictorially. A picture is worth thousands words. So please be prepared for the millions words below.... (the pictures below arent arranged chronologically, coz... lazy mah)


befriended a crocodile at crocodile farm

Kuching's "Oh Jian' (fried oyster) really tastes better than peninsular Msia.

the rainforest festival concert, crowded and lively.

a ridiculous pose made by charles and I at frenship park

Back to Kuching airport, finally.

Eat at Ipoh Oldtown.. Ipoh ppl go to Kuching eat Ipoh food.. zzz

Long House... woohooo~ at cultural village

enjoying scenery at Beijing Palace..

Some weird vege that cant be found at Peninsular

omg.. one of the best Cha Kueh i ate! It's made from Yam!

we do go to cyber cafe to online.. well, i admit, i was the one who suggested.

i think i'm in danger..

I like Sarawak's kolok mee!

the Parliament Building, and i dunno why i posed it that way

They say this is the place u must take picture for all tourists

I visited the LARGEST waterfall in Asia

Omg... i. i.... am.. Admiral Cheng Ho?

Haha.. that's it.. sorry for the laziness.. This post could have a better flow and better storyline.. But no one dislikes viewing pictures, I suppose. :P

The Dark Days

2011-07-24T17:43:00.001+08:00

Do you have this memory of experiencing a period of total sadness and pain? In that period, you were always suffered, despair and helpless.. Yeah, I have it and I called it the Dark Days..

Although the Dark Days were long gone, I keep on thinking and recalling about that particular period. There's something I don't understand. Why did i react that negatively during that moment? The sadness and pain were real; but i found it silly to feel that way. This is really weird.

Anyway, i'm very glad that the Dark Days were over. Let's hope that you (readers) and me will never have dark days again in the future. :D

Feel the Songs~

2011-07-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

To me, in order to feel the songs perfectly, there are 3 conditions:

Use earphone
Not doing anything else at the same time
Switch off the lights and stay at a dark room.

Then, you will get to feel the songs perfectly~~~

Hi!

2011-07-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blogging. In fact, I just spent some time yesterday just to catch up and read others' blog.

Since the Sarawak Trip, I didn't go to my blogsite until yesterday. I think my blog left untouched for around 2 weeks plus already. You might find the actual reason of me not blogging funny and ridiculous; as a matter of fact, the reason I didn't blog was because I forgot the existence of my blog. LOL

Until yesterday where I randomly saw the blog update post from my friend in facebook, then only I realized I actually do have a blog. I suppose this is the aftereffect of the trip and the indulgence of noveling. Reading novel is addictive!!!

Anyway, I don't think i would be very active in blogging these few days as I haven't finished my novel. Writing this post was just to prove my existence and indicate that I finally remember that I have a blog. haha. Frankly, nowadays, every moment I was outside home, I am just thinking and looking forward to continue reading my novel. Therefore, reading novel is the only thing I do other than eating lunch and dinner (we always eat outside instead of home-cook) Because of this, you must forgive me for not replying or maybe sometimes replying in a tortoise speed. I love novel! Woohoo~

Long holiday~~

2011-07-01T21:41:00.002+08:00

Just for you guys to know, my job offer from Shell has been withdrawn..
So, i have a long long long long holiday~~~

Breach of Contract

2011-06-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

Seriously, sometimes I kinda hate my sponsor. So for the smarter people next time, please fail your interview and tests so that you never experience my situation.

Want to work?
No offer yet.

Want to work at other place?
Need release letter.

Want to get release letter?
Wait 6 months or break bond.

Wait 6 months?
Other job offers run away.

Want to break bond?
Cannot! What the hell!

I am back! (from the world of novel)

2011-06-26T13:43:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! I'm sure you all are pleased to know that I finally return to this world of reality. After my continuous effort to finish the novel which has 4,686,171 words (of course i didnt count the words, it's written in the description), finally I managed to bid farewell to the world of novel and come back to this ... world.

As mentioned earlier, I realize that staying in the world of novel really makes me lose the 'human touch'. Basically, I'm too concentrate in reading till I actually purposely ignore others' messages or sms. And even to parents too, I'm usually too tired to talk to them while i was not reading. The only time I talk to them was during dinner time. And obviously, my style of reading is definitely a eyes-destruction move. I could really feel the strain of my eyes especially at night when I often continuously read for 7 hours non stop. Staring at laptop for 7 hours is okay, but keep on reading the small words in laptop no doubt gives a bigger pressure to my eyes. I think my eyes are probably .. spoilt.

Due to all these reasons, I've decided that I wouldn't start reading another long novel in this short while. It's too destructive to my eyes, health and social life. But i would have to admit that it was indeed a very very very very enjoyable activity to do. Can you imagine that I'd stopped playing any computer games for 3 days? What a miracle power!

Anyway, I'm back. It's time for me to read your blogs and reply the comments. haha.

Reading Spree

2011-06-24T11:15:00.000+08:00

Although playing computer games, watching dramas/animes and online chatting are all my hobbies, reading novel is actually the one that makes me most addicted.

My mom used to say I have great concentration in reading. That's why I can read in a decent speed. It is definitely an advantage but sometimes it could be a weakness too. Yesterday night, I started reading (ebook) from 9pm till 4am. When I finally decided to stop reading, I can really feel the tiredness of my eyes. It seems like I kinda over tortured my eyes for reading purpose. :/ (and i broke my sleep early spree because of this)

Well, there's another bad thing. When I am reading, I kinda ignore everyone else. From yesterday onwards, I kinda seldom reply sms, seldom reply msn/gtalk/fb message, never read blog comments, seldom check facebook, never talk to parents, ... to the extent that I made one of my friends got emo. Oops.

I enjoy playing computer games; almost everyday I will play games due to addiction. But there's only one way to stop me from playing or getting addicted to computer games: read novel! Thanks sis for the great recommendation of the superb long chinese novel. I love long long novel! Anyway, for those who I ignore recently, sorry ya, I will back to normal after I finished the novel. (but it still needs some time, because it has 236 chapters)

Reflecting Thoughts 22/6/2011

2011-06-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

So it's Wednesday now. I'm bored, but I'm enjoying my holiday, somehow. I become afraid when I imagine that I wont be having a long and stressless holiday like now in the future. That's why eventhough i'm feeling really bored here but I am happy. At least, i think i should feel happy during this holiday.

My new laptop is satisfactory and I like it. There's just something quite annoying, i couldn't uninstall the anti-virus software. Is the software itself a virus? I start to doubt it. I spent 1/3 time gaming, another 1/3 time sleeping and the last 1/3 time doing something that is so insignificant that i couldn't even remember. What a dull life. I think it's about time for me to call some people out for movies or something. Socialize time~

I have two problems that kind make my life less happy. First problem is the Petronas Bond. It was so ... unknown.. Totally don't know what is going to happen. And another problem is my eye. My left eye is swollen internally... for a few days, weeks or maybe months. It's neither painful nor itchy, but it is swollen. Kinda make me worried. I seek out a doctor last week and she said it was infection and she fed me with 8 pills of antibiotic per day. Pity all my good bacterias which become the victim of this infection (killed by antibiotics). The bad news is, after consuming all those pills.. my eye is still swollen as 'usual'. My parents want me to go see doctor again today; and well, i think i should. i certainly hope that it isn't something like a tumour or cancer cell. It is going to freak me out.

Okay la, sleep early to see doctor tomoro.

Friends Forever

2011-06-19T03:48:00.000+08:00

When it comes to "friends forever" these 2 words, there are only 6 friends in my mind. They are the friends that I truly confident that we could be friends forever, and probably close friends forever. They are my high school friends, in fact, I'd blogged about them few months/years ago too. (Click here to check out the post if you are interested).

Well, not to say that all my other friends, including you (who isnt one of them) couldn't be bff with me. It's just that I do not have much confidence on it happening. Any kind of relationship requires constant nurture for it to work, so does friendship. For 6 of them, I think our friendship with them is going to last forever.

It's quite a random post actually. I've spent some time with few of them recently, and it kinda struck me to write this post. Too bad hjh and kz weren't here; it would be great if they were here. We could have done our annual mass bday celebration if they were in Ipoh. Anyway, I did enjoy hanging out, wasting time or even pillow talking with them, especially in my boring-est holiday ever. What can I say? It's been all these years where most of us walk a very different path from each other. And see what happens now, we are still close friends! some of us are even closer than before. We know that each of us has our own gang in campus or societies, but we are still remain intact. This is something that we should be glad with.

It's not that we are the most caring friends ever; it's not that we have greatest characteristics and personalities; it's not that we are totally selfless in treating each other. No no no, sometimes we don't bother to care about others when we are truly busy; sometimes we dislike some characteristics of one of us; sometimes we are very selfish in protecting our self interests. But still, I love them, they are still my best gang of friends. Why?

The answer is simple. It's the pleasure it gives when we hang out or have activities together. There's not much of a passive feeling like sadness, stressed, nervous, anxious, despair... etc. There's just simply joy when we hang out. Thank god that each of us has quite a sense of humor (in quite a different way) that could make us smile or even laugh out loud. A simple joke, a random crap, a sudden action/reaction or a shared experience can just easily make our days happier. I'm a typical hedonist, someone who seeks happiness as the main goal of my life. What else could I expect from my friends apart from happiness? They have all given me all I need from friends!

Another reason that I like this gang of friend very much is I can pretty much be myself in the gang. And I don't need to 'think too much' on their behaviour or reactions. They have known what kind of person I am since long time ago and I know what type of person they are. Although we do change a little bit overtime to adapt to the cruel social world, but the inner self, the basis of us remain unchanged when we face each other. We could be more mature compared to last time but we are still crappy; we could be more serious than last time but we are still very playable. And I don't really need to be careful of what I said and what i did. I don't need to filter each and every word and sentence i say to make sure it wont cause problems to myself. I don't need to suspect and have doubt over the honestly and sincerity of their words. I don't need to worry that I got backstabbed by them. I don't need to rethink a few more times if their words carry some hidden meanings. I don't need to do all those. I just need to be myself and that's it.

Yes, there are misunderstanding, disapproval and conflicts between us. However, there is also tolerance, forgiveness and intimacy among us. we will be BFF (Best Friends Forever), won't we? ;)

At Kopitiam Parade

In the car

and Joon Heng, we still miss you

and of coz kean zhi who forfeits his holiday for some meaningless 'internship' program. fast fast return ipoh~

Stunningly Light, Powerfully Beautiful

2011-06-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

I finally got my new laptop! It costs me (my dad to be exact) for RM2899 although the market price is around RM3000-RM3100. Let me briefly explain to you the reason of its pricing by listing out the features.

i5-480M Processor, 2.66GHz - i5 is considered to be quite sufficient for normal usage.
4gb DDR3 RAM - Nothing much special. Laptop nowadays usually has 4gb ram which is quite sufficient for smooth usage.
geforce 310M Graphic Card - Not a very powerful graphic card. It is actually quite embarrassing to say that this is a good graphic card. Perhaps it is just enough to play games that is released recently in medium or low resolution. Laptops of price range RM2k usually have better graphic cards than this.
USB 3.0 - Only the newer laptop and expensive-er laptop has this feature. We can't deny that in the future, USB 3.0 is going to be something very common.
Weight of 1.66kg - Perhaps this is the most expensive feature of the laptop. Light and mobility. It is one of the slimmest laptop available (1.9cm) and it provides a long battery life (6-9 hours).

As I mentioned earlier, it's not exaggerating to say that low weight is the most expensive feature of the laptop. For those who are not so pro in computing world, it is the limiting factor of all the other features. In fact, usually the low weight laptop (netbook) has very limited processing power. In other words, usually the laptops have slower speed because of factors such as cooling, power reservation and others. But for this laptop, to be both "stunningly LIGHT and POWERFULLY beautiful", it's not an easy task. Same to the graphic cards, the more powerful graphic cards usually are bigger and take more space and require better cooling systems. Therefore, the graphic card of this laptop can't be too powerful. Anyway, this laptop has actually 2 graphic cards, Intel HD for weak graphic usage but consume less energy while NVDIA GEForce for higher graphic requirement but no power reservation. It is a pretty cool feature to have switchable graphic cards though.

Before i bought this laptop, I actually have a little dilemma in choosing between this laptop and another better performance laptop which costs even cheaper (RM100 cheaper). The other laptop has i7 processor which is super duper cool and GEForce 540m which is a graphic card much better than mine. The only weakness is that laptop is bulky and does not support USB 3.0. Well, it is very tempting to buy that one due to its cool feature. i7 processor wei! and 540m graphic card! Two great features in such reasonable price. But the reason i chose to purchase this laptop instead is because: firstly, according to experts, i7 wouldn't give much difference to i5 processors in terms of speed. The difference wouldn't be too obvious to the eyes of the users. In other words, we can't really feel the fastness of i7 processors over i5 processors. Secondly, we all know laptop isnt going to be great for gaming. So, i decided to take this laptop with lower graphic capability to enjoy the benefit of light weight. For gaming purpose, maybe desktop in the future? let's just see how in the future.

Okay, the long awaiting part of the post: pictures! enjoy~

Isnt it slim?

Quite cool, isnt it? :D

The Front

When I said slim, i meant it!

Last Picture of the Post

Feelingful!

2011-06-16T02:01:00.000+08:00

There's no such word as feelingful, i made it up myself. I'm so emotional now... perhaps i did convey the meaning wrongly, i mean i'm full of emotions.. full of feelings.. not sadness, just some... plain excitement..

I dunno why. Probably i watched a few episodes of glee s2. Probably i'm now listening some cool and emo songs. I feel so Ohm~ now! Yee... ha!

Dun even feel like sleeping... and omg! my late sleeping habit gonna return to me soon.

I feel so excited now... I would probably even confess and kiss a stranger right now! (well, just kidding, mayb just in my imagination only). This is real awkward!

Anyway, my new laptop is coming tomoro! hoorayray ray ray rayr aryarayraryaryaryayawyayaryaryaysydaydalfdkasdbxfnaskdflasdfadasfdlasdpw.,

Oops.. lost control of myself for a while. I apologize for that, but i gotta sleep now.. it's 2 am already!

New Layout (and new laptop on the way!)

2011-06-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

Tada! A new layout again. Say goodbye to the colourful greenish layout last time; we are going for something darker this time. No specific reason for choosing this template. In fact, I believe I am going to change the layout again... pretty soon. haha.

And yes! Finally ordered a laptop! I really miss the moment when I really own my personal laptop last time. Too bad, my previous lappie was dead, suddenly and miserably. But like the old saying goes, new things wouldn't come if old things aren't gone. It's time to welcome my new laptop... SO looking forward to see my new laptop... which is going to arrive in 3 days perhaps? Stay tuned... (if you even bother to find out)

Congratulations, you are recommended!

2011-06-10T20:23:00.001+08:00

[Phone Conversation]

Me: Hi, is this X?
X: Yes, I am X.
Me: I'm Ong Wei Han, a Petronas scholar, I would like to know my Structured Interview status.
X: Please hold on. Let me check for you.

(a moment...)

X: Congratulations, you are recommended for SI. Petronas might give you a position within 6 months and you would be released if Petronas doesn't offer you a job within that period.
Me: (a bit disappointed, though expected) Is there any possibility for Petronas to release me earlier?
X: No, you had signed the contract and you should be responsible to blablabla (didn't really pay attention to what she said already)
Me: Shut up, bitch.

...

Fine, i didnt say that. I said "Thank you. Bye." instead.

Great~~~~~~~~ now I am stuck in this 6 months waiting period dilemma. Congratulations??? =.=

Sleeping Early

2011-06-10T00:33:00.001+08:00

Blog less recently.. Most probably due to sleeping early these days. As some of you know that I am more 'emotional' at night and thus love to blog at midnight. Good news is I finally managed to build up a better sleeping habit (slp before 1.30 am) and it has been working for consecutively 6 days at the moment!

I don't think you guys miss my posts either. So, there's no much urge for me to blog. Anyway, I was thinking about some emo issue that probably would lead me to the emo path later. But since i'm going to sleep soon, i'm not going to blog about it tonight. Maybe tomoro?

Oh yeah, result out. And my result dropped a little bit although that's my worst GPA ever. It slightly drops my cgpa a bit. Thank god that it was the result of the final semester. If it wasnt, i might want to suicide or... perhaps it is better to kill the lecturer who gave me that sucky grade. Nevertheless, it was my last semester, and it didnt really make my cgpa look bad, and well, i secured a job already; I shall forgive the lecturer for simply setting the questions. (There is no way that i could get such result if he taught well and set his questions well and maybe marked the question properly) Calm.. Just forget bout that sucky lecturer, mentioning him would just trigger my anger. It is certainly ugly to have that grade in my transcript, but well.. Malaysian Studies? who cares!

Petronas Bond

2011-06-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

How can I get released from it???
Should have performed worse during the interview and test.
: (
Never thought it would really become a burden now. Blurry future.

Say hi to Penang

2011-06-01T01:23:00.000+08:00

Sunday monday tuesday... Wow. It has been 3 days I'm staying in sister's house at Penang. I followed my parents and bro to visit sis on Sunday but while they were going back home on Monday, I'm staying here in penang for a few more days to kill some time and disrupt some boring routine I have at home.

Frankly, my plan was to go home today (Wednesday) but I decided to stay a few more days in Penang. Why? I plainly enjoy the moment here, the new atmosphere and environment, different people to interact and well, the travelling mood. This is much better than the boring routine I have at home: play computer games from day till night. However, there is just one little disadvantage with my changed plan: money! Travelling costs money definitely! and the main problem is.. i dun mind spending those money. In other words, I'm not having much of a 'save money' mode when I am travelling. (I guess i gotta tie my stomach after i've finished travelling)

Nothing much i did actually. Besides having family time with my beloved parents and siblings on Sunday and part of the Monday, I did manage to meet up with my high school friends and uni-mates. Having great time together, eating great meals on lunch and dinner (and spent damn much money on them) and of course, spending valuable time at cyber cafe for DoTA again... :-/ In case you dunno, travelling to KL and Penang just for the purpose of playing DoTA with friends at cyber cafe is not an uncommon thing to me. And yeah, we did pawn a lot of players and getting pawned quite a few times too.

And yeah, another activity that i'd done here is going for Facial Treatment. And omg! It hurts!!! And yeah, my face is now full of scars, really in a no-face-to-c-ppl condition. Therefore, I think, you wouldn't see any more pictures of me taken since yesterday, lol. Not going to take ugly picture of myself.(unless i photoshopped it) :P The facial mistress's words do make me realize the importance of taking care of my face. But too bad, I don't have that much money to buy her products. Perhaps after i start working, i should consider investing a lil bit bit of money and effort in taking care of my appearance.

Well, i kinda look forward to today's lunch. My sister told me this awesome dim sum buffet that we are going to go for today's lunch. You may check the details here: http://www.zhonghua-seafood.com/promo.html. It's kinda cheap for a buffet price and it's buffet of dim sum. yummy! I swear I'm definitely going to eat the dim sums in such way that the money I paid for it is going to be worthy! (going to do some cost benefit analysis tomoro, in calculating how many dim sums should i take to offset the costs)

Doesnt feel like uploading any pictures here. Wait till i go home la. Have a nice day, my dear readers! :D

Awkward Moment

2011-05-27T16:46:00.000+08:00

I was feeling so bad just now.
While I was driving home happily, there's this call from XXX company, asking my decision whether to work at Penang or KL. HOWEVER, I've decided to reject that job offer but I haven't informed her. She's a lovely and helpful lady and I was forced to decline the offer.
It was very awkward and embarrassing, for that moment. And i felt very bad for causing her so much inconvenience. Rejecting a job offer... isn't as simple as it seems.

Dye My Hair

2011-05-24T22:47:00.001+08:00

Hard to believe. I really dyed my hair. I remember I had this thought since last 2 years, but i never implemented it. And now I think, I've finished studies and I'm unemployed, this should be the best chance to do it!

Of course, I still have to convince my parents about dying my hair. I recall what my dad said last time when I told him my intention to dye hair. He said, "Boys/guys who dye their hair look like naughty people". A typical comment from a teacher, I guess. However, surprisingly, he didnt seem to have big disapproval yesterday when I mentioned about it. lol. Maybe he thought I'm just saying but not actually going to do it. (I'd been saying I wanted to dye hair since 2 years ago)

Anyway, today, I was still kinda in conflict whether to dye the hair or not. First, I afraid that my hairstyle is not suitable for hair-dying. If the hairstyle is ugly, dying the hair will not make it any nicer. So, I get consultation from the barber, and basically yeah, i determined to do it. This is the first time I witness the hair-dying process. I've never encountered or see the process before. And I'm kinda surprise when she made my hair become like tat: (see pic below)

For a moment, I thought I became one of the manga/anime characters.

So, I'm the new character in Bleach. Lol. Anyway, that's just the process. Please don't think that is the final product of the hair-dying process. Although it looks quite cool, I do not have the courage to do that. Not only I dun dare to walk to the streets with this hair colour, but definitely I'm going to give my parents heart attacks if I dyed my hair that way.

Anyway, after 45 minutes of being new character in Bleach, it was time to wash away the colouring chemicals. And the end result is .......

before


after

after shower (now)

And guess what. My mom said it looks nice! hahahaha..

Reflecting Thoughts 24/5/11

2011-05-24T02:34:00.040+08:00

Totally wasted my 'today', I guess I'd been playing pc game for like 80% of the day. My plan to read novels and watch movies/series was ruined. Partly due to my 'borrowed' netbook; the size of the netbook really demotivated me from reading ebook and watch movies. This really triggers my desire to buy new laptop even more. I want a new laptop!!! But... Patient patient Wei Han!

KL 'Trip"

Just came back from KL yesterday, had two job interviews which I didn't really perform quite well. But I doubt if I could do better given the circumstances. Whatever la, I'd tried (maybe not my best though) but it certainly wouldn't make me regret for it. If the job is meant for me, then it will never run away. (One of the best ways to make one feels better is to pass the responsibility to fate or god, haha)

Overall, the KL trip can be considered un-smooth. Things were not so fluent in a way. The heavy rain, the delayed traffic, the bad seat in the train, the awkwardness with a friend, the emoness of a friend, the not-so-well interview sessions, the trouble i gave to my uncle, the 'leftover' towel, the sold out movie tickets, etc... Frankly, that was one of the reasons for me to return home earlier. I actually wanted to stay till monday or if possible wednesday at first. But i didn't because I'm afraid things are going to get worse somehow. Yeah, I had gotten superstitious. -.- Anyhow, I did enjoy the trip, at least 70% of it was fun.

Back Home

Back in Ipoh, things are... usual. I'm doing the same routine almost everyday, play game here and there. And sweat, i couldn't find myself a movie-mate for Pirates of Caribbean 4. Those who I invited were all busy/unavailable/watched already/poor?? Poor was one of the stupidest excuses given. Btw, anyone wants to invite me for the movie? I pay the movie ticket for you! (I'm sure this will attract many people, but sadly, i was just KIDDING!) Nah, KL trip had made me too poor to treat people movie. Now think about it, perhaps being poor wasn't a very stupid excuse after all. haha.

Phone call

Unintentionally had a long phone call with my fren. 53 minutes! I was shocked; coz it feels like 15-20 minutes like tat only. Erm... time flies faster probably because it was a pleasant conversation? Anyway, if I knew he was on postpaid earlier, I would have ended the call sooner (although we did try to end the phone call couple of times but it ended up with another question/topic). I suppose he has to give some explanations when the phone bill comes. Sorry for that. Shouldn't make assumption that Digi Campus was the package he is using. Assume? Ass-u-me? lol.

Sleep Late Habit

It was so difficult to get rid of this habit. There's a new spark in energy when it is midnight. This is going to spoil my 'face recovery' mission. Haha. Is it fate that I am going to have a scarred, rough and ugly face? Anyway, let's think positively. Take it as a skill, the ability to stay up late. It should be quite important/useful.

Emo on Friendship Problem

Didn't intend to share about this at first. An incident in KL made me rather emo on friendship issue. Some friends are just not worth being treated nice. Having close friends might not be a good thing - something that I just realized not long ago. One quiz for you:

In this world, who is the one you can rely the most? (not Gods or Devils pls)

Give you a few seconds to think about the answer.

Okay, time's up. If your answer was someone else, then probably you are still going to hurt yourself more in the future. The answer for the question above is: YOU and only YOU! You only can depend and rely on yourself! Friends are nice... sometimes. Problem arises when friends suddenly become not so nice and... it hurts. However, if you aren't treating them very nice, you wont feel bad if they are not being nice to you. Therefore, don't be too nice to your friends. Not worth the effort!

This theory/principle is something that I always aware of but I couldn't do it. But, this time, I finally have the determination to 'be cruel to others' in order to 'be nice to myself'. Not to worry much, as mentioned in previous post, if you can make me retain my cheerful mood, I wouldn't be cruel to you. BUT... if you are still trying to irritate me while I'm emo, then please.....

FUCK OFF!!!!

Forgiving

2011-05-23T00:32:00.004+08:00

I just realized I am actually a very forgiving person. This actually contradicts with what I always think. From what I understand about myself, I'm a vengeful person who will take revenge or bear the hatred forever and ever... if someone mistreated me.

But I'm wrong. I can hate a person so so so so much and turn out to be 'okay to forgive' the next day. This is just weird. How could this happen? Let me describe it using some make-up stories:

Story 1:

Someone scolded me. I hate that someone because he is an idiot himself. Then my thought ventures further and further.... and I become more and more emo and hate that person more and more and more and more for God knows how many hours, days, weeks ... I'll never forgive that person!!

Story 2:

Someone scolded me. I hate that someone because he is an idiot himself. Then my thought ventures further and further.... and I become more and more emo and hate that person more and more and more and more~ ... BUT suddenly, let's say I won lottery and get RM1000. Then I'm so excited and i will forgive most of the people in the LIST OF HATRED. haha.

Conclusion:

Based on the two stories above, we can conclude that, I will transform from a vengeful person to a forgiving person if and only if I am happy. So, tips for you guys: Just try to make me happy, the possibility of being forgiven is much higher. haha.

ps: It has a reverse effect, I hate people more when I'm emo.

When I woke up, it was already 1pm. I quickly...

2011-05-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

... I quickly ran downstairs and get my (house) phone to call Mr. Tan.

"Hello kz, eaten lunch already?"

"Not yet."

"Great, let's eat lunch together~"

It was already 1pm, and seriously I hadn't 'made appointment' with kz regarding to the outing plan. I felt so relieved when he said he hasn't had his lunch, else I'm gonna end up eating lunch alone in a lonely place~ Anyway, the outing plan was as following: Eat lunch, Go KTM buy ticket, Go parade buy FIR album, Go M.Gopeng buy ticket, Go... cybercafe play dota... again~ We agreed to meet each other in Tesco (aka our favourite parking place) at 1.40pm; however, I was late a bit (a bit only) because facebook was just too interesting for me. Therefore I gotta rushed to Tesco in blazing speed, killing 3 innocent pedestrians in the process. May them rest in peace.

The time when I just departed from my home. And I should be Tesco at 1.40pm!

That's why I had to concentrate in driving fast. (Do i deserve the best actor award?)

Luckily I was just late a bit, probably due to my super driving skills or perhaps... kz also came late? haha. As an environmentalist, I always feel the urge to protect the environment by reducing petrol consumption. So, we decided to carpool instead. (okay, fine.. I'm the one who made the decision, not 'we')

He looks so happy because he can be my driver. (actually i kinda force him to be the driver, I love being a passenger!)

While I was deciding on where to eat our lunch, Kz surprised me by offering himself to treat me the lunch. When I asked him why, he said it was for my birthday. Wow.. so thoughtful. I told him, KFC then, got the zinger combo which I was craving for it. But he said it was too cheap d, something more expensive.. WOW! haha. Hence, we went to a chinese restaurant in De Garden which its name sounds a bit like Dragon-I. It's famous for its xiao long pau.

My food! Ramen with five yummy ballshaped dumplings.

The ZhaJiang Noodle that he ordered. My boss (the one who pays) for that meal


Plus the dimsums that we ordered. It costs RM43 plus for both of us. Not over expensive for meals that include both main dishes and dim sums and drinks.

After that, Kz fetched me to KTM station to buy train ticket. Fortunate enough, I managed to get the third class train ticket which costs merely RM12. Gonna go KL on 18th May loo.. one more week left for the challenging interviews.. Oops out of topic. Then I accompanied kz to medan gopeng to buy bus ticket to KL (the same destination as well), on the same day as well. You might wonder why we didnt choose to go to KL together using the same transportation method. The reason is very simple: we hate each other!!!! ... nah~ just kidding. It's due to some issues he had which I lazy to explain.

A random pic we took in M.Gopeng bus station.

I mentioned I wanted to buy FIR album right? But we didn't go to parade, because it's a bit troublesome to go there purposely. Instead we went to jusco, which is more convenient because it is so near to our next destination (cyber cafe). Staring at the price of FIR album, RM49.90; i decided to buy later, maybe in parade where popular card might stand a chance to reduce the price. I'm becoming POOOR PPOOOOR person. No more allowance from petronas means no more income; no more income means... PPOOOORRRR!!

And last but not least (actually it's the most), we went to cyber cafe to play dota. With my pro-ness, we won again! (although my hero died countless times in the process) Quite surprising that we could win though... Usually with Kz's existence, we rarely got the chance to win... Unless.. kz's dota skill improve d? :-O The answer to that question is: No! hahahahahahhaa~ Anyway, nice and simple outing today. I like this kind of casual and ordinary outing... I wonder how many times more we can have such outings? I don't think I would have the chance to have this kind of outings when I start working in the future. hmm.. :-/

No longer a student

2011-05-09T13:26:00.004+08:00

I've just finished my final exam yesterday. Not just the typical final exam, but the Final final exam. Felt a bit lost and empty. It was like a routine that I had to pick up some books and read them. But nope, now I don't have to do that anymore. Last night even, I was dreaming that I was studying and suddenly realized that I should no longer need to study that book anymore.

Just now, when I was trying to do my uni clearance stuffs, I suddenly feel sad. I'm going to leave this place, like forever. And all my uni friends, I'm just going to miss them super much. :'( A bit regret for not having more fun with them. Those friends, are the only reason that convinces me to not regret studying in UTP. But what to do? We all know there is an 'end' from the word "friENDs".

End of study life.. Could you imagine that? After studying for so many years, and this is the end of it. Entering workforce could be both exciting and ... scary. It's time to sharpen up my human's mask as things aren't going to be as simple as before. Any mistake made could be disastrous and I do not want that to happen. Office politics, backstabbing, fakers? It would be challenging.

Haiz.. feel quite sad now. Bye UTP.

Silent Midnight

2011-05-06T04:22:00.001+08:00

Although the post title sounds like telling a ghost story, it's not. Dun worry. I'm just describing the current atmosphere here now in my room. The curtains are closed, and it's so damn hot while my roommate still can sleep harmoniously with his blanket. That's so incredible.

I just killed 11th mosquito in this room, within 2 hours. I dunno if it's me who become more expert in killing mosquitoes or the mosquitoes tonight just seem too stupid. They just fly like usual, unaware of the deadly fatal Wei Han's palm nearby. And with a single "piak" or double "piak", they ended up become lifeless corpses. I feel so sorry for them.... Well, actually i'm not. They deserve death, population of mosquitoes has increased too rapidly. If we do not take action to control it, it will disrupt the ecosystem! (of course what i said doesnt have any scientific proof)

I was studying till around 3.50am and i had actually completed the study target of the night. Supposingly, i should be rushing towards my bed, hugging my pillows and sleep like a pig. But, i myself do not know why I'm still awake here, facebooking and blogging. Weird. I dun feel like i'm someone who is having exam tomoro.. (well i just killed the 12th mosquito while typing the previous sentence) It kinda distracted me and i forgot what were i typing. Okay, mentioned bout exam mood, i don't really feel like i'm in the mood of having exams. I take it as a bad indication that my result this sem is going to be a disaster. But it's okay, final semester, and it's time for my cgpa to drop. (of course i wish it could maintain)

Anyway, i suppose it's almost time for me to sleep already. Since my roommate is going to wake up for his morning study session, it's time for me to start my slumber session. We are trying to safeguard the room from any burglary. Nah~ kidding. It's just that i love to sleep late while he couldnt sleep late. (you can say in another way that he loves to sleep early but i couldnt sleep early). For those who are having exams, good luck for you all if u read my post. Else, u dun get the good luck wish from me. haha. (i'm reading it as well, so i definitely get good luck wish from myself, YAY!)

Open-One-Eye;Close-One-Eye

2011-05-05T13:50:00.001+08:00

As a sociable human, we have to learn how to open one eye and close another eye. Of course, i don't literally mean that we have to actually close an eye while communicating or socializing. Open-One-Eye;Close-One-Eye is actually originated from Chinese saying which means: "ignoring something that you care for a good cause" .

There are too many things in this world appears to be inappropriate to us. Unfortunately, we aren't god. We can't change everything to make it follows our preference. Therefore, sometimes, we just have to ignore things that don't really matter to us.

I admit I am a control freak. Hence, it is a bit more difficult for me to ignore things. But i will try to change, coz I'm Wei Han. haha..

Law of Wei Han #1:
Everything is possible to achieve if Wei Han is determined in doing it.

Ps: Too bad, the only flaw of the law above is: Wei Han seldom has the determination to do something.

Reflecting Thoughts - 4/5/2011

2011-05-04T02:37:00.001+08:00

Introducing new label(title) of my blog: Reflecting Thoughts. Whenever you see my blogpost has this title, it simply means that the post has no specific theme, or thesis statement (sounds very technical right?). Reflecting Thoughts will be posts that i would simply say out what am i thinking at the moment, without specifically relating to any event or incident. Actually, if you have been my consistent blog reader, you would realize, i had actually written many posts similar to Reflecting Thoughts concept in the past, with different titles of course. Anyway, sometimes my mind wanders here and there and i just want to put all my thoughts here. And obviously, as a super considerate blogger, for those who didn't like my Reflecting Thoughts posts can simply ignore reading the post, saving your time from reading something you don't like. A tips for the readers, you can always check the label on the bottom of a post before u decide whether to read the post or not. Anyway, let me start with today's reflecting thoughts.

I had experienced an unexpected emo last night. It was abrupt and sudden. Although I'm not very certain with the reason i got emo, I somehow know what triggers it. Anyway, let's not talk about sad thing, we should talk about ...... something sadder!

My first paper is on Thursday and today is already Wednesday. And the first paper is going to be... MALAYSIAN STUDIES! Seriously, i think this subject is a total crap. It is in fact a death penalty to the foreign students who never took Sejarah before. The questions asked in the test/exam are sometimes very irrelevant from the textbook and the answers given are totally illogic. Taking this subject is very enjoyable, because basically I can skip almost every class, granting me more time to do other stuffs (which most of the time is taking an afternoon nap). The textbook is quite lousy, i somehow think that form 5 sejarah book is of better quality and higher level than this textbook. Many people have been complaining that my cgpa is too high, and they will be happy to know that this subject has a big potential of bringing my cgpa down down down down~

Recently keep on having flashbacks on some memorable moments in UTP. Recalling the moment when we were having our orientation, facing some conflicts we had while doing group project, having different great roommates, ~~killing different species of mosquitoes~~, ~~seducing lecturers to get high marks~~, ~~laughing at other people when i get higher marks~~, ... LOL. I'm just joking. Anyway, there are many precious memories in utp. I suppose this is what ordinary people with feelings face when they are graduating soon. Yeah, i'm graduating.. in 5 days? hoho.. and i'm totally blur and confused with my future paths. Let's see how things go in the future~

I realize i am a much more sentimental person than i thought. I did remember that i cried out loud when i say goodbye to my primary school last time. What an idiot, i didnt even know why i was crying since i'm going to see most of my friends in high school (from SRJK Sam Tet to SMK Sam Tet). Anyway, i didnt really feel sad leaving my high school and i dunno why. Supposingly, i shouldnt feel sad leaving utp either. I guess, i am actually a bit reluctant to face the cruelty of the real working society. I know it wouldnt be similar to student life which is quite a comfort zone to me. That's the reason i feel sad maybe?

Wo~ho! I'm glad that you read until this part. To reward you, i'm going to tell you a funny joke to cheer up your day. The joke starts like this:

Batch Dinner

2011-04-30T18:35:00.001+08:00

It's a good thing that we are having a batch dinner. It's at 8pm later. And i've totally no idea on what to wear. Decorating stuffs is never my expertise. And of course, decorating myself is not something I good with. It is always a hassle for me to make a decision on what should i wear, how should i style my hair and stuffs... coz i'm really bad at it... and lazy at it. haha... I believe that if a person is nice in nature, he/she will always appear to be very good looking regardless. So, from the statement above, we can conclude that i will always look nice right? haha. Just joking. In fact, I do believe make-up or the effort of trying to groom one's appearance does make a lot of difference, but too bad, i'm just not good at it.

Anyway, let's ignore that issue right now. I didn't plan to go to the batch dinner initially. I never like to go to these occasion bcoz of few reasons: 1. money concern; 2. attire concern; 3. time concern; I actually rejected the invitation to go to this dinner several times. But at the end, i changed my mind and decided to attend this dinner because... well... this is my last semester as a student. And for the last-time sake, why not? Sadly, a lot of my close batchmates aren't attending. So, i actually take this dinner as a course dinner instead of a batch dinner. Let's hope that we would have lots of fun tonight.

Okay, what and how should i wear? the theme is black white red. And looking at my closet, i know that i only have very limited 'dinner attire' clothing. Totally no idea. Wear a black shirt plus jeans? that's the only thing i have in mind. If i'm just going to have a black shirt accompanied with a formal slack, it will look like i'm going for an interview. People are going to wear coat maybe, but i dun have one. I don't intend to be the most high profile and eye catching person there, so i dont plan to wear something outside the box. This is a tough decision, perhaps i should just wear a white singlet.. It somehow fits the theme. hahaha.. Anyway, i intend to take a lot pictures today.. Should i learn and practice how to do some posing now? haha.

Her death

2011-04-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

She is dead~
I knew she is dying soon, but i didnt know her death comes so fast. :'(
She is someone i always see and touch.
She is my addiction.
She is part of my life.
But she is now death.....

(Suddenly....)
(Disco rhythm sets in...)
(I heard Rihanna's voice...)

"She's been a crazy dicta
Disco diva.. and you wonder
Who's that chick?
Who's that chick?" - ~~David Guetta (who cares about him?) feat~~ Rihanna

Who's she?
She's my lovely Asus laptop.
We'd been together for 4 years, and she left me without saying goodbye. (well, probably I tortured her till death) Doctor said, Nerve system injury is the root cause of her death (motherboard spoilt). It is difficult to rescue and it is very costly to undergo this operation too.

Anyway, I don't feel very sad, coz i know her lifespan is soon over. But still, the 4 years relationship doesn't lapse away that easily.

LUCKILY... i managed to immortalize her by writing her a poem. Oops, this is not sonnet 18. I mean i immortalize her by retrieving back her memory. With her memory, I could clone her whenever I want! So she is not dead! She is just living in another form.

Her new life form - Hard Disk with casing + USB Cable

My mom found a surgeon who could do organ transplant. Hence, she asked for my permission to donate her organs. Looking at her dead body. I agreed. Let's hope her body parts could benefit someone out there. It's already good enough if her memory stays forever with me.

Her dead body

... only if we could store humans' memories like computers', then we wouldn't be so sad over somebody's death. :( Anyway, RIP my laptop. (though i will summon you whenever i need you)

Ps: I gotta explain a little bit for those who dun quite understand the meaning or intention of the Rihanna's song part, just in case. I never like my readers to be confused on something. Well, ermm.. it was just crap! haha. Recently i am in love with Rihanna's who's that chick, hence i'm just trying to fit the song into this post. As simple as that~

E-mail from Shell

2011-04-25T18:13:00.003+08:00

Just a few minutes ago, I received an email from Shell ( i mean the company, not really the shell) regarding to my job application:

"Dear Wei Han,

Thank you for your interest in pursuing a career with Shell and attending an interview. We are pleased to advise you to try again next year ..."

OMG. I failed!

Eh.. wait...

OMG. I passed the first interview! Despite the introduction of the mail seems to be telling me that I failed the interview. Instead of this "... We are pleased to advise you ~~to try again next year.~~",
the email wrote "... We are pleased to advise you that we would like to invite you to attend a Shell Recruitment Day". Hooray! Although very high possibility i will fail the second stage interview, but yay.. at least I passed the first interview.

I knew i did quite well on the first interview, but what made me worries was my coursemate who did the interview 3 days earlier than me received invitation to second stage interview 2 weeks earlier than me. I thought i was out already somehow. Anyway, it is good to know that they realize i am a potential good candidate. haha. Else it's their loss.. Hohoho.. I hope writing this post won't cause me any bad consequences like: Next day, they sent me a email saying it was a mistake, and i was actually being rejected and so on due to this post...

I still don't know when will be the second stage interview. I hope i have more time to prepare. let's wait for a call from Shell personnel. :D

Green~

2011-04-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

Hey you! Yeah, you! Welcome to the green world!

As everyone awares, I am a person who deeply loves the nature. (sound from nowhere: "stop lying!") And thus, i changed my blog layout to this greenish layout. Hope everyone is comfortable with it. :)

It's Saturday~ It's Saturday~

2011-04-24T02:22:00.004+08:00

10am waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my drink, gotta have my cheese
... (if you dunno what am i talking about, go watch Rebecca's Friday in youtube)

That's basically how my morning goes. After have my cheese as my breakfast, i back to my laptop upstairs and do my case study. Duh.. this is so not Saturday. Anyway, like Rebecca Black suggested, "It’s Saturday, Saturday, Gotta get Outing on Saturday", i feel like going out for some activities. And here I check the cinema for any nice movies, and there is none. So, i give a call to my buddy TK, and invited him for a cyber cafe gaming session. Of course, he gladly agreed.

However, like any other days at home, i gotta settle my lunch myself. As an emo and lonely young nice looking kind hearted humble and smart guy (oops, i praised myself too much? but i'm just telling the truth!), i had a little bit of trouble trying to decide which place i should have my lunch. Again as an emo and lonely young nice looking kind hearted humble and smart guy, I decided to have my lunch in McD! Why McD? First, it is delicious; second, mcd is supposed to give a happy mode to me. Like i said, i was emo, lonely, young, nice looking, kind hearted, humble and smart at that time.... oh well, i mean, i was emo and lonely back then, that's why i chose to have my lunch in mcd where i believe it would cheer me up a little.

After i parked my car at mcd drivethrough (near highway), to my surprise, there are 3 other almost identical cars parking at that place. Now i totally accept the fact that the colour of my car is too common. here are the pictures:

They are actually 4 different cars; have a guess which is my car?

Answer: the last picture (bottom right side)

So, I entered McD and decided to order McChicken set. Not because it is super delicious, but it is the cheapest among the set. What to do? poor ma~ While waiting for my food to arrive, I suddenly asked the cashier/counter lady to smile. but why? Coz i wanted to take a picture of her. It's impossible for her to reject my request due to my charm and charisma.. choke* Even i couldnt stand what i'm saying. Let's just forget bout what i said.

I knew i successfully made her day, by asking her to smile and taking her pic

So, after she smiles at me (my camera), i'm so disappointed. Because... she didnt give me a discount. It seems I'm not as charming as i expected. Nevertheless, I took my food and take a lonely seat and eat lonely.. What a sad story right? But never mind. I have a companion: my camera. And this is the time I camwhored in public. And.. I was quite embarassed actually. :P But what to do? emo and lonely ma~ They gotta be more considerate towards the desire of emo and lonely ppl.

The picture there ----> shows how happy i was while eating fries. And yeah, the smile was very fake. Because i actually wasnt very happy while eating fries. But what to do, facing camera, i had to show my cheerful smiles anyhow. :/

<----And what are you staring? I'm eating my fries!

It's hard to believe i couldnt finish my lunch. My appetite these days really become so bad. And I mentioned in fb right? now my weight is less than 50 kg. Omg.. Lowest record in these 4-5 years.

Anyway, i finish the fries, because i love it. The burger left 20% unfinished and the drink left 80% unfinished. Guilty of not finishing the food? No, not at all, they arent healthy anyway. Good excuse right? haha

So later then, i went to tk's house. He was having his lunch that time, therefore leaving me idle. While being very free, I borrowed his laptop and blogged on my previous post, using his laptop at his house. And after he finished his lunch, it was game time! Cyber cafe is always our favourite place for outing. That's the place we show our friendship, bonding, interactiveness, closeness... ah~ i'm just crapping. That's the place where we play dota, kill some noob players and get killed by some pro players. And WTH, we won every game we played. Are we just too pro? lol.

We still can take picture while the game is on. geng lea? haha. no la, the game hasn't started.

After winning for so many times, we were both frustrated. We started to question why we are so good in playing this game. It is unfair to the other players that we are so good. haha. Being snobbish here. Anyway, we enjoyed the game and we left cyber cafe around 6pm.

It has been long time since i attach pictures into my post. Well, I'm actually using Bong's blogging style where almost each post has lots of pictures. But of course, mine is better coz i'm more humourous in writing. LOL! He is going to criticize and insult me if he saw this. Anyway, i know the post is a bit long than expected. And therefore, here's the end of it. It's my saturday my saturday~

Resurrection Day

2011-04-21T01:14:00.000+08:00

I was quite happy today. I finally finished my FYP final presentation.. Yay!

...

In fact, Yay! once is just not enough.. so Yay yay yay! yay yay yay yay... yay yay!

...

I was very happy when i finished the presentation. Coz i knew i did quite well, at least my presentation was better than what i expected. It was really great, compared to the pre-edx presentation. The same content, same presentation, different outcomes. Sometimes things are just turned out to be very different when they are evaluated by different people. I really like to acknowledge my supervisor, i think he did help me alot, directly or indirectly. I should really thank him.. perhaps i should buy something for him.

With FYP going to an end, although i still have couple of projects due this friday and next week, it doesnt matter. They aren't deadly. Exams are coming soon. I'm a little bit afraid, unlike the 'me' before. This sem i am hyper duper lazy, and.. the study week is short and exam schedule is tight. It's going to be a challenge to get an A. But, let's see the coursework marks first. It surely gives a little bit of confidence boost if the coursework marks are good enough (though i don't think so)

Though my day was quite happy in general, i am a little bit down now. And the 'down' time is always the time i write my blog, same to this post. Anyway, it's just a minor sadness. I was graduating soon. And, sometimes i kinda miss the people here. Not going to get used to office politics so easily, although i think i would master it in the future, after a few failures and obstacles of course. Uni friends are selfish.. but still good. They are purpose-oriented but still good. I would definitely miss them. But, friends are just friends.. Ever heard of the saying "there is an 'end' in the word 'friEND'?" There's definitely an end between each friend, just a matter of how early or how late it will be ended. If I lose contact with a friend, he/she doesn't try to contact me, and i don't feel like trying to contact them, so be it. That indicates that the frenship has ended, somehow.

But with virtual world of Internet, gtalk and of course facebook, i doubt i would lose any friends in this matter. But fading friendship is unavoidable, and i'm definitely ready for that. Nevertheless, if you attempt to keep in touch with me, i wont disappoint you. :)

Love Story

2011-04-18T17:57:00.000+08:00

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess It's a love story baby just say yes" -Taylor Swift

Nice song right? Okay now, you can totally ignore the song above. What i want to blog today is not about love story by Taylor Swift, but a love story from one of my best friends.

I'm not sure if i had disclosed to you all on this before. I love love story (to avoid confusion, the first 'love' is a verb; second 'love' is a noun). I like love stories, and that's the reason i read love novels sometimes. It's not common for a guy to read love stories right? I kinda enjoy it although I know that the Reality isn't going to be as ideal as shown in some of the love stories.

Anyway, i'm getting out of topic. Like i said, i enjoy watching, listening, seeing, reading, experiencing love stories, (although mys own love story doesn't really end well due to my own personal problem) and now today, i just knew one of my best friends had successfully bid farewell to his 'single' status. It is interesting, enjoyable and even exciting to know the news and some of the details of the love story. Happy love story always makes me happy, not to mention it is from my best friend. I'm really glad to know about the news. Congratz to them! and I wish them 'White-hair till old'! (Dun say i didnt wish you all ya)

It's undeniable that i'm really happy for him. Success love story is inspiring and delightful. However, apart from the rational side of me, as an emotional being, i feel a bit down too. You know the scenarios when your buddy have a partner, he/she tends to spend less time around with you due to the commitment that he/she has to fulfill to his/her partner right? In other words, when your friends have gf/bf, they will start to neglect you and your gang of friends. They literally fly to their beloved's side and never see their shadows anymore. Lucky to me, most of my coupled good friends from secondary school do not have such 见色忘友 attitude. However, for him, I'm quite sure he is the kind of person who will definitely put more emphasis to his gf. I'm not blaming him. It's normal and necessary to keep a relationship alive. I dun think girls like their bfs to place their friends in higher priority. Anyway, the reason i feel a little bit down is because i have a kinda like 'losing a friend' feeling. But it's okay, i'm just going to get along with it. People have to move on, don't we?

Nevertheless, that's the irrational part of me. As a friend, i am truly happy for him and his gf. Things are going to be great. Love does make people happy, like Wang Fei sang:

因为爱情不会轻易悲伤

所以一切都是幸福的模样

I'm delighted to see my friend happy. And i will always support them in their new relationship. All the best! :D

Ps: Anyone wants to tell me his/her love stories? I'm always interested to listen. ;)

One pleasant morning

2011-04-15T12:48:00.000+08:00

There is this one pleasant morning,

When you have enough sleep and good dreams (Dreaming of becoming billionaire)

When you can see the sun smiles at you (Please do not look at it too long as it will hurt your eyes)

When you can listen to birds singing (It doesn't mean they sing well)

When you can have a table of dim sums for breakfast ( And become bankrupt because of that)

When you can greet everyone with a friendly tone (Good morning handsome! or Good morning pretty!)

When you can dance freely with joy at the road (And laughed by the public)

When you can pick up money or perhaps an Iphone on the road (and throw it away because it's fake)

When you can be flirted by many Leng Lui (They have great taste)

When you can realize you become better looking compared to yesterday ( Due to a not-so-clear mirror)

When you can share your happiness with everyone ( And they ask you to shut up)

When you feel the morning is extremely pleasant.... (...

...
...
[Alarm Clock Ringing]

{Yawn~}
Eh it's afternoon already
Shouldn't have slept so late yesterday.
By the way, I did have a good dream of having a pleasant morning.

...
...
...)

p/s: Long time never write crappy post loo~ What a fun thing to do!

Label

2011-04-10T20:07:00.000+08:00

In terms of human relationship, labeling is one of the most scary thing. Based on Wilford's Dictionary, labeling means put a strong and permanent impression on somebody. In other words, when a person labels somebody, it means that somebody has given a very strong and permanent impression/image to that person.

Examples?

If you label someone as a cunning person, you will always be careful with that person regardless how nice or sincere he/she treats u.
If you label someone as an evil person, whatever actions he/she takes will be perceived as out of bad intention.
If you label someone as an irritating person, whatever he/she does will annoy you.
If you label someone as person beyond cure, you just have to give up on him/her...... and nothing else can be done besides giving up.

Interviews Here And There

2011-04-07T23:42:00.001+08:00

I'm graduating soon!
These days, i have been ignoring all my projects.
What's on my mind is: interview interview interview~~
I love TEC very much, and these 2 days, I had been attended to 4 interviews. The fifth one would be Petronas Structured Interview~ I somehow feel that I do not need to prepare anything for it, I basically have all the answers for the interview questions standby in my mind. haha.
It's hard to know where would I be in the future? IT industry? or Oil and Gas.. or shall i jump to do something different like HR or Finance? We shall see... ^^

Ps: Recently emo a lot too. I am trying hard to hurt myself less. Worst comes worst... I will do THAT, i hope i don't need to do THAT though. Anyway, cheers today for not being emo!

Fever

2011-03-31T17:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i have fever. I actually forget how it feels like to have fever. It gives a minor headache, and sometimes makes me feel cold; sometimes makes me feel hot. The more irritating part is the sorethroat. Hate it.

This fever makes me lose my only opportunity to try mcd breakfast. Sigh~ this sickness really comes in bad timing. But luckily, this fever comes in after i finished my fyp presentation. And i can rest at home, being taken care by family. Cannot imagine how it would be if i'm sick in Uni. It must be disastrous.

Still having minor headache and sorethroat. Thanks to panadol, it does help a lot. I didnt know it was such a powerful medicine last time. I wouldnt eat them normally, but my dad forced me to take those pills. haha. I guess i had to thank him for that. Let's hope that i can recover asap.

Proper Way of Caring

2011-03-29T01:18:00.000+08:00

Once again, I realized the my way of caring was wrong. It was not the first time I noticed it, but it will be the last time i mentioned about it. Because.. I decided to change.

Humans are very foolish. They like to listen to nice things, i don't deny i'm one of the 'foolish humans' too. Well, who dislike compliments and flattery? That's not important anyway, what makes humans really foolish is they are very reluctant to listen to 'bad things' whether or not it comes from goodwill or pure criticism. And that's the mistake i made.

Oh well, give you few examples.

A person eats unhealthy food.
I say: Wah, why you eat such food? It's so unhealthy!

A person always use rude words in conversation.
I say: Don't keep saying vulgar words. It drops your image.

A person who is in bad posture.
I say: Your posture is very bad. You should sit properly.

That's what i did previously. Those words were from good intention. It is done out of caring. If that person isn't in the 'care list', i wouldn't have bothered about what repercussion that is going to happen to that person. However, we all know that people don't like to be 'taught'; they like to be admired instead. So, most people do not appreciate what i did, while instead most of them did not like the things i said. I realized this 3 years ago, but i did not do anything about it. I simply gave up that person and ignore that person forever.

But now.... I decided to change. There's a reason why smart people are called smart; why friendly people are sociable. And now it's the time i'm going to change... to become smarter and friendlier.
Don't like to hear those words? Fine.. I'm not going to say those things anymore. It's not my business anyway. Why would my attempt of making them better in the future has to end up as me being blamed and disliked? Totally not worth it. As a self centered person, i never do good deeds for no reasons. I'm not a great angel who is so kind till that extent that would tolerate people blaming me for trying to help them. You could question: maybe it's my way of putting those words doesn't sound polite enough. Partially true, but no matter how polite you are, when it is said repeatedly, no one is going to like it. And why would i go tru such mess for trying to be good?

So, this is what i'm going to do in the future:

A person eats unhealthy food.

I say: Those food are so tasty!

In mind: "let's just hope that you arent going to get cancer"

A person always use rude words in conversation.

I say: Haha.. That's so funny.

In mind: "such a rude person"

A person who is in bad posture.

I say: (nothing)

In mind: "it's just so ugly!"

People evolve. And i evolve.

I am becoming more self centered for the sake of myself. People can survive on their own without my comments. (Not that they will pay heed to my comments as well) But, well, for my own good, i think this change is necessary. Everyone loves to listen to good stuffs isn't it? Imagine the difference between the moment i said "the food is so delicious!" and "the food is so unhealthy!", which one would you prefer? Needless to answer, coz i know the answer.

Secret

2011-03-27T00:18:00.000+08:00

I hope i have this very distant friend (or stranger) who i could share my secrets.

Some secrets are tough to be kept.
And disastrous if they are revealed.

I start to lose control over myself.
And it sucks.

Vengeful Nature

2011-03-25T03:17:00.000+08:00

I never deny that i'm vengeful in nature. You can say it's childish, but that's just how i am.
I always remember each and every bad thing people had done to me.
Even if I forgive them, I still won't forget the things they did.
Please try not to make me angry.
Coz for the bad things u did, I remember them forever.

Level-5 Emoness

2011-03-22T03:26:00.000+08:00

The emoness came suddenly, i did not know what's the real reason of the emoness. My housemates thought my emoness was due to exam stress. And frankly, that's definitely not the main reason of being emo. I'm never afraid of tests anyway.

I am convinced that FYP is part of the factors that causes the emoness. No doubt, it has been making me emo countless times. I'm sure FYP is one of the culprits. What else? Love relationship problem? Nope, my love life has been peaceful and plain like a calm sea since i started 'closed-door' policy. Friendship problems? Uhm.. maybe, but i don't think that's serious enough to make me emo.

Regardless of whatever factors that made me emo, i'm actually feeling quite bad for being emo today. I don't think i made a good 'appearance' to my housemates. I myself hate to see others emo, coz it will affect me too. And i'm sure that they would hate to see me emo as well. It's not one of the greatest emo i had, of a ranking of 1 to 10, i would rank the emoness tonight to be of level-5. Nevertheless, i'm sure it wouldn't be pleasant to others. I should have locked myself indoor while waiting for the emo period to cool off. Actually, it's not so much of a big deal, it's just that my temper gets very bad when i'm emo; and i do not say words that sound appealing to people (but more to direct sarcasm or criticism); and i wouldnt care about how others feel. I hope i didnt frighten my housemates; this should be the first time they encounter a level-5 emo. lol

I'm still uncertain of what causes and triggers the emoness. But it's okay. I'm used to it since it happened countless times in the past where i didnt know why was i emo. I hope it wouldn't happen again (but i know it will).

And guess what cures the emoness? a match of DotA! I told ya: games always have miracle power in healing emotions!

Wo~oh.oh.. Monday Blue!

2011-03-21T12:27:00.000+08:00

Like the blue curtain of v5 room... it makes the whole room BLUE~ and dark... Gloomy but soothing..

what a calm feeling it gives... and it does create a slumber atmosphere that makes people drowsy and lazy.

I like that!

Monday blue~

Tuesday also blue~

Wednesday also blue~

Friday also blue~

Saturday also blue~

Sunday also blue~

Did u notice i skipped Thursday?

But anyway, i'm just crapping.

Blueish Monday.. lalala

Run Away

2011-03-20T00:17:00.001+08:00

I was running away today (Saturday). Running away from all sorts of problems that trouble me. I didnt do anything today. Nothing! Except attended a Career Seed talk from Shell.

My plan for today was awesome: do my fyp poster, study 2 subjects, proceed with my fyp report, and also continue my fyp prototype. And what i did for today was more awesome: playing dota with my housemates; and play Dragon Age 2 at home.

I am not feeling well, seriously. Dizzy since this afternoon, i know i'm getting sick, soon.. And yet i did all those entertainment activities. I know i should rest, but i didnt.

I was not planned to go home though. i wanted to finish some of my work in uni. Yet, i was inspired by my roommate to go home. Actually not really inspired by him, it was me who really wanted to escape the academics mess that i had with me. Run away from them and back to my sanctuary: home.

I'm worried, i'm worried if i still not feeling well tomoro. That'll be a real disaster since i kinda postpone all my work to tomoro. Escaping from problems is good for mind, temporarily; but we all know that we cant solve problem by that. Well, i have to accept the fact that i wasted today, neither i work for my academic stuffs nor i rest to 'heal' myself from the irritating dizziness. Let's just hope i feel healthy tomoro and get to solve some of the messes that i left behind. Good night!

Fading Friendship

2011-03-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

Today, one of my batchmate, Yeng Lee said to me this sentence: "You are going to graduate soon; how is it?" At that moment, i didn't think much about it. But now, there's the 'fading friendship' thought swirling in my mind.

Graduating signifies another change of phase in our lives. Just like graduating in primary school and secondary school, both gave me some special thoughts and realization. And this time it is about fading friendship. Anyway, we all know friends are just come-and-go thingy, no one is going to be with around you forever. However, it is still hard to let go of some friends who are so fun and happy to be with.

This time, the focus is around the uni-mates. Honestly, there are some friends that i do not even bother about if they've gone missing forever. (yeah, i'm such a cruel person). But of course, some of my friends are really hard to let go, as they gave me a wonderful memory when we used to hang out together. Despite how joyous those moments were, i know that the moment is not going to 'repeat' itself. Sadly, to some of my friends, especially my batchmates, our friendship has already start fading. Nothing i could do but to accept the fact that one's friendship circle is like cinema. When a movie ends, someone has to go, and another party of people will come. Exactly similar to friendship, where the movie symbolizes a stage of life (eg: uni life) and the people represent the friends that you mix with. When this movie ends (when i graduate), some people just have to leave the hall and let some new friends come into my social circle.

It will be lying to you if i say i'm not feeling sad for it. But, i actually feel glad that we used to have such moments, those memorable moments that will stay forever in my mind. I know the next time we meet, we won't be as close as now, but i appreciate what you did with me, and did to me. I did have a lot of fun with you all. Just take this as an early farewell speech before i graduate. lol.

The real world outside the education institution can be nasty. And i'm fully prepared mentally to face all sorts of evil people in the future. I doubt if i could get a real friend that will not backstab me in the future. I hope i could, but there's no guarantee. Let's hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Just make sure you online more often so that i can find relief when i need you all.

淡淡的失落

2011-03-09T17:00:00.000+08:00

淡淡的失落，也不知为啥。

幽暗的房间，
配上绵绵细雨，
加上失落的心情...

也许，我在为自己的改变而懊恼。
人变了，非往光芒迈进，而跌落无底深渊。
如何拯救自己？

也许，我在为孤单而哭泣。
仍觉寂寞，尽管得到很多人的关心、照顾。
如何填满空虚？

也许，我在为前途而感到恐慌。
前途茫茫，面对黑暗世界的残酷，势必艰难。
如何照明未来？

也许，并没有也许。
只是受这突来的失落气氛感染，
而写下这篇部落格。

虽然我知道，
我并无法为自己做些什么，来战胜这淡淡的失落。

Belt - One Greatest Invention.

2011-03-08T03:10:00.000+08:00

It happened last week. I’m not sure if I had shared with you guys. Just in case you don’t know, I’m a member of PBSM, the one that goes home every week, not the one who saves people during emergency. And on that particular week (last week), I actually forgot to bring something back to UTP from home. Well, it is actually quite normal for me to forget stuffs, used to forget bringing charger, stationery, books, towels, toilet papers, housekeys and etc. But for this case, there’s a new item in the list: I forget to bring my long pants.

I had never anticipated this to happen, first time in my life for forgetting bringing long pants. I realized it few hours later after reaching UTP, and I struggled to try searching for some “long pants” in my cupboard. Good news is, I found a “long pants” in it; bad news is: it is my ugly old fashioned ah-po styled pajamas.

What to do! What to do! I decided to borrow pants from my friends. My roommate hasn’t returned back from home, so I asked from one of my housemates, Chang Hua. And great, he lent me one of his long pants. The problem is, the waist size of the pants is 31, while I usually wear 28. So, I suppose now you understand why I think belt is one of the greatest invention.

Without the belt, the pants can be literally pulled down while I am wearing it. Thanks to belt, its amazing function prevents me from running back home foolishly just to get a pair of long pants! Lesson learned from this event is: try to get your body size compatible with the average size of other people so that you can borrow things that suit you easier.. ermm. Oops.. that’s not exactly the lesson learned. What I mean is, things could get very far off from what you expected, so be ready for any weird stuffs that are going to happen. ~~With proper body size, you should be able to wear any borrowed things~~, ahhh.. I mean, with proper physical and mental preparation, you could entirely avoid those things or have immediate solutions for the challenges.

And it’s 3am now. This is bad as I sleep quite late recently. :/ I know my roommate wouldn’t be very happy about this, but gosh.. sleeping late is just…… amazingly FUN! Good night~

Ps: This is a non-emo post, as 'instructed' by my roommate who was wondering why i didnt blog recently.

Ethics of Care

2011-02-28T11:19:00.000+08:00

Today, our lecturer taught us "Ethics of care" in Corporate Ethics class. It is an ethic that emphasizes caring for the concrete well-being of those near to us. Well, i think i seriously lack of it.

Being a very selfish person, i often feel surprised when there are people who care for me as it is something i did not expect in this world of self-centered people. Since i rarely care for others, i wouldnt expect others to care for me either. And due to this, i'm easily touched if there's someone who actually cares about me.

Of course, some of the cares are fake, as in they are insincere. It's not really difficult to differentiate which care is sincere and which isnt, because i'm quite experienced in giving fake cares too. But well, I am still grateful for the fake cares, at least they tried an effort to fake it out, which is worth being thankful of (although it wouldnt make me feel touched)

Would i ever change from a self-centered person to another Mother Teresa? I wonder.

The world has been too nice to me, and perhaps i should let go of some of my self-interest and try to sacrifice for others. We cannot always be the one who Receives all the time, someone has to be the one who Gives sometimes right? That's a typical "easy to say; difficult to implement" statement.

the Emo bin? not for this post!

2011-02-25T17:09:00.000+08:00

My roommate said, i had been writing too many emo posts, and i might as well change the name of the blog to emo bin instead of memory bin. So, i decided to write something non-emo this time. Frankly, at this moment, i still havent thought of what i wanted to write. Hmm... give me few seconds to think...

Let's talk about something funny:
"It was winter... and a bird was flying and suddenly it fell dead due to the coldness..."
erm.. funny right? if you've been 'cold'ed, then it's alright. If you are still wondering what the story means, then probably u gotta go meet more people and interact more often. It's just a typical cold joke.

Okay, let's be serious. I am still not sure what should i write. Maybe i should blog about that, yesterday a friend of mine gave me an i-shuffle. I was quite touched seriously. The most expensive gift that i receive from friend, and it is not a Shared gift. (as in a gift that a bunch of people shares the cost) Thanks to that friend, although i havent started using it yet (but at least i downloaded itunes). Sometimes i just feel blissful for being so blessed. My life has been too good until i would get frustrated for tiny-miny problems and issues. :-/

Life is a long road. Can I presume the road is always smooth and safe? lol, suddenly the mood of the post is turning into a more solemn and emo atmosphere. Let's leave it then. One advice: There are always friends who are very nice to you despite how you treat them. Find out those friends and treat them nicely. What for treating some other friends very nice while they didn't even care to bother? For those friends who you treated them very well but never give you back the treatment you think you deserve, just forget about them, live your life man. You don't need them!

ps: i guess i can really change the blogname into Emo Bin already. lol

Touched

2011-02-24T13:21:00.001+08:00

I'm just touched.. very touched.
T.T

My batchmate/housemate?

2011-02-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

Sunday night... You know what Sunday night means to me? It's a typical Emo night for me. As usual, i'm slightly emo now but fortunately, I'm just slightly emo.

I was actually quite grateful that my batchmates asked me out for dinner yesterday night. It was a little bit far, my original intention was to create a "i am busy" excuse and skip it. However, they are my batchmates, who i thought they had long forgotten me. Instead of indulging myself into the world of PC games, i know i should go out to join them. I need to socialize, rather than doing the laptop-facing activities that i do all the while. I know i'm lonely too, it's great to meet friends and laugh over stupid jokes. Oh well, most of the time i was the only one laughing. I dun understand why they didnt find it funny. Or perhaps i'm just too happy to meet them, that keeps me cheerful.

It has been sometime since i spend time with my batchmates. Well, as an IT student, we will just have that 'gap' after our internship period. Internship was the time we never meet each other for more than 1 year. And yeah, i felt so batchmateless last semester. It is difficult, as my batchmates are going to graduate later than me while i graduate together with seniors (engineering). Sometimes i feel i'm more like the batchmate of my seniors instead. Maybe others wouldnt feel the situation and feeling i had, i sometimes do not know where should i put my 'loyalty' to. My batchmates? or my seniors who had internship and graduate together with me? This is just so weird. Simple example of a dilemma i face is to choose who should i have my dinner with: My housemates (seniors) or my batchmates.. Sometimes it's just hard to decide and select. And probably my batchmates too felt that i was 'away' and 'disloyal' to them already. And that's the reason why i feel so joyous when they asked me for dinner last night.

How about my coursemates? I have 3 chinese coursemates. Sadly, one goes missing, i suppose he has gone to the LOST world and had some fun with some dinosaurs. Another coursemate, taking different subjects and timeslot which make us hard to meet with. And yeah, he is introvert, locking himself in his room watching drama all days and nights. So the third one, my 'true' coursemate, we will only interact with each other only regarding academic stuffs. We have too much of different thoughts and opinions to talk about the other stuffs.

Hmmm... despite all those, i am still glad that i met them and befriended them. All of them are (used to be) close with me, will never forget them after i graduate. The people are the only one that i will miss after i grad. (well, as if i have graduated now) Few more months left, let's appreciate and cherish the little time we have.

Lonely Home

2011-02-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

It is bad...
Nowadays i am consistently feeling lonely and emo for no reasons. It's like part of my life just goes blank without her. But i never regret it, i know that's the right thing and the best thing to do. Perhaps i'm still not used to it, especially when i'm bored.

I didn't really change, i think. I'm still as lazy as before, or perhaps even lazier. I'm bored.. i crave to socialize with people.. and crave for trips.. and frankly, i crave for pure happiness. Hedonism, yeah, that's the word. Pleasure, pleasure and pleasure.. I'm poisoned... by the toxic of wanting to have eternal happiness.....

Okay, enough of my dream of eternal pleasure. it's reality here, and humans can't be always happy. Some people have 3 kinds of mood, positive, neutral and negative.. But not for me, i would only have either positive or negative mood, i rarely feel neutral. In other words, im either happy or sad, no in between. The good thing about it is, i feel happy more often than others; bad thing is: i feel sad more often than others too.

Yeah, now i'm in Ipoh. It was quite lonely in UTP, especially when my roommate and housemates and batchmates are busy. It is even lonelier at home. Oh.~ i miss my roommate. Does it sound gay? I hope not. haha.

Anyway, it's almost time for me to sleep.. I'm feeling so sleepy now.. direct influence from my roommate. Surely i would have to thank him, if his influence could make my face recover from the swarms of pimples. Goodnite.. and i hope i can have a more cheerful tomoro. Tonight... was bad.

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

Love is in the air~~
but not me. Love is very far away from me at the moment, which is supposed to be a good thing.

Anyway, 1 hour plus more to go, for this V day to be ended.
I have a rather special Valentine's Day though. On this special day, i decided not to sign in facebook! oohoo~~
1 more hour to go and i can go to my favourite website.

Waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting... i'm just addicted to facebook.

oh~ KL again

2011-02-14T02:27:00.000+08:00

It was an abrupt and sudden decision. And yeah, I went to KL again. Reason? For fun, it’s as simple as that.

What I did there? Sing K, Movies and Playing games at cyber café, something that I could do in Ipoh as well. Now I know the real reason I went to KL: Friends.

Again, I enjoyed having those outings with Talung, Wern Yet, Ken and Tet Khiun. What I really like about it was the stressless moment, the pure holiday fun kind of mood. Life has too much troubles and unwanted incidents; vacation with friends is definitely a way for myself to escape from it.

Of course, the motivators that make me choose to go KL instead of Penang are:

Tet Khiun’s exceptional welcoming behavior
Wern Yet’s birthday

I always feel uneasy for troubling Tet Khiun to stay over at his house. I know it definitely brings inconvenience to him and his housemates. And due to this, I don’t want to continuously giving him trouble by staying over his house, I don’t want to make him feel like I was manipulating him or what. But his welcoming behavior makes me feel comfortable of staying over again and thus it serves as the main motivator for me to come over to KL.

Wy’s birthday is another motivator. And well, I didn’t even know whether he would actually have time to meet me. In other words, I would have gone to KL regardless. However, I did really want to let him have a personalized birthday celebration if he doesn’t have one on his birthday. Sharing birthday celebrations all the time could be quite disappointing sometimes (it’s worse if the celebration falls a few days after one’s birthday). I did throw a birthday celebration for him, a crude one though. I felt a little bit embarrassed of it, it could be the worst celebration I ever did for a friend. Although I kinda put the blame on his not-so-supporting friends, I know I could always do a better celebration despite the un-supporting friends. So, I actually felt bad for it. But what’s done was done, and I did throw him a personalized birthday. And well, I’m not his closest friend or girl friend, thus I think it should be sufficient, though I could do better. Mentioned bout the celebration, I admit I was the organizer of it. But I too was impressed by Talung, Ken and Jessica. They were ‘literally’ celebrating his birthday twice, only something that closed friends would do.

To shorten the post, I decided to summarize some important points/events of the trip into few point forms. (Although I originally intended to write each of them into one paragraph, causing this post to be another super long post)

Sing-K overall was fun. And I just discovered the most expensive peanuts in the world - Redbox
I get to know a new friend, Jessica. She is pretty, cute and approachable.
For the first time, I purchase movie tickets on uncollected-reserved-seats. Never thought it would actually work, I thought we wouldn’t be able to watch movie that night as the tickets were practically sold out.
All’s Well Ends Well 2011 is hilarious. Lol. There were some scenes that cause me to laugh uncontrollably.
I did something illegal by staying over at some place. And I enjoyed it. XP
I felt guilty for abandoning Tet Khiun for whole day.
My sense of direction was not so bad after all. I managed to find my way from one place to another place by myself. And omg, I’m proud of myself. Lol.
I didn’t eat any fancy meal throughout the trip but I’m not feeling disappointed. I wonder why. I wanted to eat Chilis for a long time, but I never got to eat it, and still I don’t feel disappointed. I guess the reason should be ‘money running low’
I enjoyed playing DoTA at the cyber café. Tried many new heroes and feel pretty comfortable using them, I’m a more pro player right now. LOL
I ate breakfast alone in KL Central on Sunday, while I was waiting for my bus departure time. The breakfast actually… taste bad! Should have taken McBreakfast.
I felt pretty sad for leaving KL. Uhh! The end of my wonderland...
I felt even sadder when I was driving back to Uni. Yeah, I was in emo mode back then.
I would like to come back to KL more often, provided if I have more money and no disagreement from my parents. KL feels so.. second home.
I didn’t take any pictures. Partly because Wy has a better camera; partly because I have way too much pimples on my face; partly because I don’t really have mood to take picture.

That’s all for this post. Point forms are indeed much easier to read.

Happy Valentine’s Day for the sweet couples! Happy Single-Doesn’t-Matter Day to all the singles, including me! Haha. I made another oath to test my determination again by not logging in facebook on Valentine’s Day. I dunno why I wanted to do it, to avoid some posts that I wouldn’t love to see in fb maybe?

Roommateless night… I had never been left alone by roommate before. Felt a bit empty, something I wouldn’t feel if I’m not single. Erm… I didn’t mean anything by saying that, dun misinterpret. Good night!

Phone calls

2011-02-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

It reminded me of something funny when i was making a call just now.

True story:
Once upon a time (probably 3 to 5 years ago), there was this person A called me through mobile phones. So i picked up the phone and answered the call.

Me: Hello~
A: Hi.. Are you busy right now?
Me: Yeah, I'm a bit busy at the moment.
A: Then ah, i continue speaking la~~ blablablabla

What's the point of asking me if i was busy or not since he intended to continue speaking anyhow? Speechless.

Timetable

2011-02-09T11:33:00.003+08:00

Ohlala~ here's my weekend again and it is just Wednesday! It is hard to adapt to the '5 days weekend 2 days study' situation. But i'm loving it. In fact, the reason now i am still at uni is to accompany my friends in uni. Seriously, i do miss them if i go home. One bad thing bout returning home is loneliness. Something that i did not feel such strongly before my break up with gf.. well, ex-gf.

Anyway, I'm pretty proud and glad with my timetable.. Thus, i decided to share to you all, so that you all could get jealous. haha. 9 hours of class per week is just amazing.

Recently feel a bit emo for nothing. Yet to discover the real reason behind those emoness. Or maybe i should say, i'm just lazy to find out the real reason. I'm happy 70% of the time and sad 30% of the time. Just leave it be, shouldn't i? Life is never filled with eternal happiness, sadness has to come into play once a while, isn't it? Oh, i'm so lonely right now. When will my roommate and housemates return?

It is CNY! Nope.. it WAS CNY.

2011-02-07T00:38:00.000+08:00

Although CNY lasts for 15 days, it is over for most of us. CNY is a very significant festival to students. It indicates that after this CNY holiday, students will have to suffer greatly to all the things that they had delayed/postponed/ignored before CNY.

New year, new start... but old assignments still have to be completed. The world is cruel, assignments are like debt from 'big ear hole'. They would not stop chasing after you until you return the debt. And of course, while you are in the process of returning the 'debt', new 'debts' would have waiting for you; just imagine your 'big ear hole' teacher/lecturer is grinning evilly behind a dark curtain.

Nevertheless, we have to accept the fact that CNY is indeed over. And the suffering time has finally here. There is no escape, it's time to work your ass out to pay off the debts. (well, probably you wouldnt need your ass to pay off the debts, unless....) oh.. this is just bad, i realize i'm getting more vulgar. Just forget that i ever typed those things.

One great thing about CNY is, besides it gives me angpau, which in turn means i would have more pocket money, it also indicates that i'm young. It is so obvious by seeing how many new pimples are 'born' on my face. They are my youth symbols. Thanks to them, now i look more masculine as i have many scars... on my face. Not like Squall's scar in Final Fantasy 8 though. Mine is cooler, it reminds people of our amazing and wonderful moon's.... surface.

As i mentioned in facebook, it's time to join campaign "tak nak pimples". I know i'm young, but it's time to move on. These pimples should be given to those people who are in need. Me? thank you very much, but i had more than enough. Let's start from sleeping early. and yeah, i know i couldnt manage to sleep early usually. So, this again proves that saying it is much easier than doing it. Another reason why i'm so talkative. (totally out of topic)

Okay, it's time to sleep. Happy "CNY over"! Let's embrace our suffering! May you survive the upcoming tortures and anguish.

Mountain Climbing (Walking)

2011-01-31T07:36:00.000+08:00

This is an unexpected blog post as i originally would not have written this post.
Why did i write this post? this is because there's a special request from one of the "climbmates" that he wants to sleep 15 more minutes. lol. It is really difficult to wake up such early, i admit. But i had to. And since he has the courage to request for a delay, I granted him. haha

Okay, i had just given him a call that he had to wake up or else we will be climbing under a big hot sun. Anyway, i decided to skip class due to this healthy event. (actually my parents force me to, keep saying i didnt do exercise and stuffs...) I still feel a bit guilty though, for skipping class out of no reason. But, i don't think i will ever regret. If the lecturers are going to give pop quizzes on these 2 days, i had to say: they DISCRIMINATE chinese.

Okay, 10 more minutes, what should i write here? Okay la.. the more i write the more i feel sleepy. lol. *yawn*. Let's hope i can drive there safely. Bukit Kledang, here i come. Oh ya, good morning all!

The ‘Trip-ping’ Days

2011-01-27T20:27:00.001+08:00

[Ps: Had written this post few days ago. Had some delay in posting this due to connection and some emotional problems.]

Yeah yeah, this post is related to the trip I had recently. OMG it was so fun, and I missed it so much. (now back to uni d, duh~)

The main event for the trip was actually the genting trip on 20^th Jan. However, after taking wern yet’s opinion on going to KL first ……okay let’s skip this part… I realized if I’m going to write this post in such detailed level, I think this post will be a novel instead of a blog post (freaking long). Okay, let me summarize the story.

Wednesday – Hey I’m at KL!

I reached KL Central safe and sound around 12pm. And guess what, I had a ‘returning home’ feeling rather than a ‘going for trip’ feeling. I’m too familiar with KL Central I guess, I always travelled there when I had my internship. Without delayed, I quickly found my way to Pavilion to meet Tet Khiun. I am always thankful to Tet Khiun as he always willing to let me stay at his room. And he skipped class for me! Touched… lol. Anyway, what we did was we ate our lunch in Manhattan Fishmarket. It was delicious and OILY! Everything was fried, really bad for health. After finishing the lunch, we quickly rushed to watch a movie (with an oily stomach). Guess what we watched? As a tourist, I watched “the tourist”! Well, many people said it sucks, but it appears to me a fairly nice movie to me. Elegant Angelina and unpredictable Johnny with some humor and actions plus romance with twist in the story, not bad what.

For dinner, it was my pleasure to be able to invite 2 VIP: Ta lung and Kah Joon to join our meal. Though the venue chosen for dinner was weird, in my opinion, but since the two VIPs kinda insist in eating that, nothing I could do. We had our dinner in KLCC, … food court. Such a meaningful dinner but having it in food court.. haiz. Haha. Anyway, we had nice dinner with many random conversation topics. And like Talung mentioned, he managed to save us RM20 plus for eating that meal (compared to eating at chilis, which I preferred) . It was a great night, thanks Talung and Kah Joon for coming.

After the dinner, it was gaming time with Tet Khiun again. It was kinda like a routine or tradition that we will play DoTA in cyber café whenever I go to his house. But we didn’t play much, coz I gotta wake up earlier on the next day for my genting trip! :D

Thursday – so Genting!

And yeap! I was on my way to Genting that day. I woke up rather early and waited Wern Yet for about forty minutes. (as he was chatting with people in café? lol) But, I didn't get impatient nor have any negative feelings, because I knew it was going to be a great day that day. By trial and error, I ended up at Chow Kit station (though I wanted to go directly to Titiwangsa station) and coincidently I met Wern Yet there. I recalled the unfriendly lady at the Genting bus ticket counter; I really hate to talk to her again. Like Wy said, everything was smooth, which I pretty agree. Although it was obvious that he didn’t like my idea of having nap in the afternoon (which I really need one), it was tolerable and perhaps the only uncomfortable part of the trip.

Honestly, I thought it would be an awkward trip (with him and only him), since we weren’t going to play theme park or do any other activities. I was worried we would have been bored till the end. I couldn’t deny there are some boring moments, but it is less than what I had expected and I felt great. Something worth sharing was I kinda learn a bit on taking photographs, thanks to the patient and attentive guidance from Wy. Lol. But too bad, I still not really keen in photography after the lessons. Anyway, it is always good to acquire new skill and knowledge, thanks to him and I hope he did get more ‘seeable’ photos since most of the time, I was the one who took his picture with his camera.

Some might wonder what exactly we did at Genting. We didn’t have much activity besides walking and talking. I’m surprised that how much we could chat; it was like we continuously talked for many many hours without running out of topic. It’s something that only possible among very close friends, to me. I’m glad that neither did he or me get emo on that trip, that would be disastrous! I’m very grateful that I had a very nice brother who walked all the way to find me just to pass me supper and pay for our dinner. Touched!

Friday – KL again? UM

Although we slept quite early, we woke up around 10.30 am. I was awaken due to the natural ‘themepark’ alarm in genting. It’s fun to listen people’s scream of joy, though myself didn’t really enjoy those exciting themepark games. Anyway, we managed to meet up with another friend, 71 and had lunch together. It was sad to leave Genting, for its incomparable cool temperature and stressless holiday feel. Nevertheless, we have to leave and we reached KL around 2pm.

I followed Wy back to his room in UM, which is quite down to earth. I couldn’t deny that our uni room is in better condition, but the UM room’s layout gives me a feeling of warm and care, I dunno why. I get to meet Wy’s roommate, who seems like a very good person. I did mention to Wy that his roommate has a pair of innocent eyes. What I didn’t say was those eyes could be very dangerous or useful in cheating people. Haha.

Then, we went to watch the Great Day in Mid Valley. And I really love Mid Valley. (maybe influenced by how small the First World Plaze is, comparatively). The movie was quite okay, though it kinda made me disappointed as I couldn’t really appreciate its sense of humour. Some parts are touching, made my eyes watery; although actually I don’t think it is very touching, just the background music somehow manage to twist my emotion and feelings. Overall, I think the movie is okay, but it could be better.

Later, it is fortunate to have dinner together with Ta Lung and his (girl?) friends. He insisted that he was going for a ‘simple’ outing with the girl, but,.. hehe.. who knows right? Like someone said, she did look and act like a princess, and I tried very hard to ‘break the ice’ to reduce the awkwardness during the dinner. Nevertheless, it was still a pleasant dinner.

I bid farewell to Wy after accompanying him in buying clothes for a while, and I rushed to meet my bro in Pavilion to watch the 3^rd movie of the trip: Faster. And that was the time my handphone is completely KO, as in it couldn’t be switched on anymore due to low battery. Anyway, it was an okay movie with some twists at the end. Not an excellent movie, but not too bad either.

Saturday – 1U, IKEA and The Curve

Saturday was a family day, I woke up quite early to follow my sis and her bf walk around the malls near Damansara areas. I admit I did cause some troubles and inconvenience to my siblings due to my malfunctioning hand phone. It is difficult to contact each other and it is very inconvenient to them. Feel guilty for it, and I promise I will always bring charger along in any trip next time. Anyway, the important highlight of the day was I finally managed to try the food in Italianis! The food was great as the price was not cheap. The set meal was not worth it, it is better to order something else from the menu instead of the 2-course set meal. And I’ve tried Lasagna! The best I had ever eaten (well, I dun eat much, so not much to compare with). However, suggestion is to share with friends, coz any single food you ordered will taste very bad if you have to finish all on your own. My sis’s greatly recommended Tiramisu cake was awesome too. It is mixed with a little bit of alcohol and it is huge.. (and pricey of course).

I couldn’t manage to buy any new year shirt in 1 Utama. However I did see some shirts that Wy wanted, lol, unfortunate for him. 1 Utama is just gigantic, it was like impossible to finish a full tour in the mall. However, the shops are repeating themselves, so it isn’t a very good place to shop, in my opinion. After that, we went to IKEA. And this was the first time I went to IKEA. I was amazed by how crowded the place is; it gives me a feeling that everyone in the world owns a house and wants to make changes to their houses. I’m not really keen in shopping there though, since I have no purpose to shop. I don’t own a house nor I need something fancy for my rooms. We left IKEA empty handed as my sis didn’t really need any furniture and we walked over to the Curve. This was my first time in the Curve too. And surprisingly, I managed to buy 2 clothes there! I thought I would never buy any more clothes since I’d spent some amount of money in genting buying a shirt that costs rm46.5. But I couldn’t resist myself from buying from Nichii in the Curve because they are just too cheap. Lol.

For dinner, we ate Frankera, a Mexican restaurant that is of same style with Chilis. The food was quite good. 3 of us ordered burger, which was actually kinda silly. We should really choose some other food instead. However, I just couldn’t resist the burger temptation. Luckily, the burger was delicious! And very filling! I joined my bro back in his hotel after the dinner. We watched some silly ghost movies in the room. And omg, the ghosts are really silly. Lol. Was that supposed to be a comedy instead of a horror movie?

Sunday – Holiday ends. T.T

Sunday was a bad day, as it was the last day of my holiday. Usually I would get quite emo that day, but surprisingly I was not. We had our lunch in Lot 10 with various of delicious well-known Chinese snacks that taste great (but cost double/triple compared to outside). Then we left KL and went home. I reached home (Ipoh) around 4pm and I haven’t packed anything to bring back to my uni. It took me an hour for me to quickly pack and roughly select the items I need to bring back to hostel. I was rushing, and I left my house on 5pm and reached UTP on 6pm. Some might wonder why would I leave home so early. Well, you might not believe it, my dad actually wanted me to go back UTP. He chased me out. T.T

Epilogue

I really enjoyed myself on this trip. It has been quite some time since I had such meaningful and happy moment. Sometimes, I just wish I could have that kind of life forever. But, if that’s the case, we won’t appreciate it anymore. I guess, the rare things are the only things we appreciate. If something can be obtained too easily, it will be taken for granted. I felt quite sorry for my siblings though, giving them a lot of troubles and inconveniences. Will repay them in the future, when I’m richer. Hehehe.

Well, it ended up as a long post. Congratz, if u have read until this part! You tired reading; I also tired writing. Congratz to myself too, for writing till this part. Lol. Tried not to have such a long post next time. Will attach some pictures to make sure you don’t fall asleep when you see the lengthy text of the post. Considerate, ain’t I? lol

雨天

2011-01-27T12:03:00.000+08:00

牵手和分手来自同一双手
做回朋友
我却为何不懂挽留

Keep it? End it?

2011-01-27T01:25:00.000+08:00

Are you confident that you can keep?
Do you want to waste more time on both of us?
What if she is not the one?
Don't u think she deserves someone better?

Wouldn't it be a pity?
What if she is the one?
Where to find such nice person?
Why do u think u are not someone she deserves?

Would you ever be ready?
Would you ever be committed?
What if the fading feelings aren't temporary?
Do you think you really can change yourself?
Are you mature enough to handle this?
Will you regret doing this?
Will pushing yourself to ready work?

Just another 'Hooray' post.

2011-01-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

Hooray! My holiday is ending. My body hates resting.
Hooray! My FYP progress is very slow. Wont give stress to other coursemates.
Hooray! My supervisor gonna scold me and give me low grade. Can let my friends chuin back me.
Hooray! Gonna start doing irritating projects/assignments soon. Time to show off my crapping ability.
Hooray! Gonna eat dirty, unhealthy and polluted food. The best thing is, it even tastes bad.
Hooray! Gonna get attacked by mosquitoes swarm in hostel. An opportunity to do good deeds.
Hooray! Gonna wake up early and go to class. I love waking up early.
Hooray!.. Hooray~ err.. what else? No more? I guess my life isnt as great as i expected.

There's something to be sad though.. I am going to grad soon! Hahahaha! Why am i laughing for such a depressing thing? I'm just weird. LOL

Wilford Ong

2010-12-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

Those who have my MSN know that Wilford Ong is indeed me.

Yes, I got myself a new English name. Some say that's a 'Christian name', but since i'm 0% christian, i don't like to call that as my christian name. It has been a while since i decided to use 'Wilford' as my new English name. Many asked, why 'Wilford'? and why a new English name?

Trust me, I used to think 'Wei Han' was adequate. I like my name, although it's rather common. There were so strangers thought I was another 'Wei Han' whom they familiar with. Anyway, i started to change my mind when i was having my internship in Accenture. Well, the first reason, i would say: peer pressure/influence. Almost 80% or more chinese (could be non-Christians) have English names. The second reason, it seems like my name does not have 'ease to remember' trait. Except chinese-educated colleagues/friends, others have great difficulty in remembering or calling my name. When I introduce myself as "Wei Han", Malays usually repeat my name as 'Rei Han' for unknown reasons. For non-chinese-educated chinese (so called the bananas), they have no trouble repeating my name, but they have no trouble in forgetting my name as well. For foreigners, they couldn't even have the ability of calling my name UNLESS they know the exact spelling of my name.

Triggered by those thoughts, I further convince myself to have a new English name due to the arguments below:

Teachers / lecturers call me 'Ong'
Some friends call me 'Wei' (well, i really dont like that)
I can only accept a very close person to call me 'Han', else i will feel geli (disgusted). lol
Isnt it joyous to be able to name myself? 'Wei Han' given by parents; 'Wilford' given by me myself.

Okay, next question: Why Wilford?
Giving credit to my ex-roommate, Charles, who are so passionate in helping me to search for my new name. I personally like a name starts with 'W'. And we actually get a list of 'W' names from a website. I've shortlisted 5 names from that list and I asked opinions from someone, okay, well, my gf. And that's the one she chose (though i'm not really sure if she remembers that). Of course, i personally like the name Wilford for these reasons:

It feels mature, something that i want myself to have.
It doesn't sound bad. It looks nice (in words) to me.
Well, some people might not like the '...ford' part. If so, you can just break it up and call me Wil or Will, eitherway.
'Wil....' part represents Will, another thing that i want myself to have. A strong will is the key to success, for me. It seems like my will is much weaker than my ability/potential.

Yeah, i know. My friends will be shocked to see this 'stranger' name appear in their instant messenger. I expect that to happen. My friends will say 'Wilford' sounds weird or not suitable to me. I expect that to happen too. Some friends will tease and laugh at it. As expected either. All it requires is time to accept. If my name was Woon Ping, and i change my name to Wei Han. I'm sure you all will feel awkward too. It takes time for 'the name to really be mine', I believe.

Anyway, if you still feel totally absurd to call me Wilford. No problem. I like 'Wei Han' a lot, and you are free to call me Wei Han if you want. Ihe new name is meant for my new friends and mostly colleagues in the future. Those who have familiar with Wei Han, just stick with Wei Han will do. Coz, frankly, sometimes i feel weird when my old friends call me Wilford too. lol.

Different People Receive Different Treatment

2010-12-04T15:31:00.000+08:00

Let's talk about being two-or-more faces today. I believe most of you are the same, you treat each individual differently based on his/her gender, age, position, closeness and etc. A simple example, let's compare the way you treat your teacher, your nephew, your parents, your lover, a stranger and an old friend. All receive different treatment right? That's what i mean. (although there's a possiblity you treat all the same, if that's the case, you are weirdo! Imagine you talk to your parents, "Hey parents, let's hang out" or to your nephew, "Excuse me, may i know the reason you skip the class?")

The examples i mentioned just now was a bit general. In fact, between friends, I still treat them differently based on closeness, gender, age, position and their personality. For example, towards some friends, i do not crap in front of them. I could be very gentleman in front of a person and very 'jin gak' (evil) to others. And sometimes, i will be extremely cold towards a person and i dont even know why.

I personally think the multiple behavior/treatment characteristic is okay although some people say i'm fake. But who cares, in order to be good in socializing, you gotta 'customized' urself (treatment) to different people. Don't they learn marketing? We gotta customize the product/service to suit each customer needs. lol. However, there is this one particular problem when having multi-faced. I seriously do not know how to handle, when there are two different 'treatment' groups i have to face at the same time. I face difficulties in choosing which treatment to use or how to 'combine' and find the average of the two different treatments in order to face the 2 different 'treatment' groups. By the way, do you understand what i mean? It seems like my explanation is not really easy to understand. Okay, let me give an example for you. Let's say the way i treat my parents is being less talkative and the way i treat my old friends is i always crap. Imagine, in an occasion, my parent fetch me and my friends to a place (bus station maybe). Then, in the car, i dunno how should i face the situation.. Remain less talkative or keep crapping? Usually in such situation, i will keep quiet, because i do not know how should i handle the situation. Same to this occasion, most of u know that i crap a lot. But sometimes, when you introduce me some new friends, i tend to talk less and become a bit quiet because you and 'new friends' are belong to two different treatment groups. lol. understand what i meant?

Sometimes, i wonder should i reduce the level of 'customization' so that each treatment is different but not so much different. :-/ This will make me easier to handle two different treatment groups. However, the customization level will decrease, which means it will be less effective in dealing with people. A bit dilemma though. And sometimes I also lost my self... as in i dunno what's my real personality. Because i'm friendly and unfriendly, polite and impolite, considerate and inconsiderate towards different people. And i can't say that i'm friendly in a general sense, because i'm only friendly to specific people. I could be very cold to those who i don't intend to mix with. In other words, i do not have a 'major' one side personality that defines me. Sometimes, i try to play some personality tests which everyone says it's accurate. Just to be curious, after i checked my result of the personality that i find it accurate, i will check other personality results of the same personality test too. And usually, i find many many other results are accurate too (coz i have multiple personalities).

Anyway, maybe you didnt think too much. Probably you are similar to me too, just that u didnt realize you have multiple face/personality. ;)

My Holiday

2010-12-03T19:18:00.004+08:00

Hi all,

Long time no c. I know you all surely miss my blog a lot. Thanks for supporting and sorry for keep you waiting for my new post. (pretending to be a very popular blogger)

The title of this post is "My Holiday". What a boring post. I believe most of you have written some sort of similar post regarding to your holiday or semester breaks (some more than once). But as usual, if you like my writing style, you shouldn't feel bored reading it. And in fact, if you dislike the way i write my blog, you wouldnt even read this post. So, let's assume those who have read 'THIS' sentence love my blog. lol

Sorry to disappoint you, actually this post wouldnt be very interesting though. I just want to describe how short is my holiday and how many activities i have to do. Too much activities too limited time. (Do i sound like a very busy person?) I'm not busy by the way, to be specifically i'm not busy doing work. But i'm pretty occupied with things i want to do.

I'm not sure if you are aware of my interest. This is how i use my free time:

Online/Chatting
Play PC games
Read Novels
Watch drama/anime
Outing

The above are the major activities that might take me 3-6 hours per day just to implement it. And almost all of them will make me addicted and as a result, i will become crazy (as in forget to eat and sleep, and totally ignore everyone and everything else).

Err... Suddenly... i forget what's my purpose of writing this post. LOL. so that's the end for this post.. will write a more meaningful post next time. Stay tuned. haha.

Relationship between Emo and Age

2010-10-21T01:55:00.001+08:00

Do you think your emo rate is higher than before? I do. It's weird though. Supposingly people get more experienced when they are older, and thus should be able to manage their emotion better. Apparently it is not.

Perhaps we are still receiving new kind of challenges that our emo management cannot handle. Or maybe we do not even develop the proper emo management skills. Sometimes, i just feel ridiculous that some small tiny winy problems can make me moody. Yes, it is frustrating, but i know there are many more other even worse things happening (for other people), and i am feeling sad/emo for such a minor thing? Knowing is one thing, feeling is another thing. I know that i should not feel moody for small things like these, but yet, i am still feeling emo. Maybe i'm more of a feeling person instead of a thinking person (which is further proven by some personality tests)

Anyway, i'm interested to go for any emotion management courses. Like one of my friends said, i am a little bit extreme (not moderate) on my emotion. Too easily become overjoyed, and too easily become sad. Imbalance, i think. Perhaps emotion management courses can balance it up. Is there any cheap (or free) emotion management courses/talks available?

Sometimes, i am a bit envy with my old me which is much more cheerful than now. Is it applied to everyone that when a person gets older, the happiness rate will decrease while emo rate increases? If that's true, i'm really feeling sorry for those who are sad even when they are young. It means they will be more sad when they are older? Assuming the theory is true, let's have more fun while we can, since we are going to be more sad in the future. What a theory.

In any depression or desperate situation, i think i can tell myself :"Well, at least i used to be happy."

Conversations with my Projects

2010-10-13T19:34:00.005+08:00

Settings: In a very sad, dark, and solemn room. 6.50pm on Wednesday.
Main Characters: Me, Final Year Project (FYP), Information Technology Project Management Project (ITPMP)
Background: ITPMP is jealous because I don't seem to touch her for past few weeks. And she is arguing with me and she is accusing me for favoring FYP over her.

ITPMP : How could you do that to me?

Me : Do what to you?

ITPMP : You ignored me and you like FYP more?

FYP : No, he doesn’t.

Me : Shhh... (to FYP), why did you say that? (to ITPMP)

ITPMP : It has been months before you touch me. (No sexual thoughts please)

Me : What? We just submitted a progress report on you last Monday!

ITPMP : Well, you just fake that one out. We both know you never do anything about me.

Me : (guilty) but… you are just too difficult to start with.

ITPMP : You are the one who proposed to do this system, and now you put the blame on me? (cry out loud) And.. and… you treat FYP much better than to me.

FYP : Nonsense! he hasn’t touched me for weeks. Everyday I see him dealing with Personal Finance Research Paper (PFRP), and International Finance Project (IFP) only.

PFRP : (Angry) Don’t simply say! He has been playing with ITPM Case Study that bitch. It seems like he is rather enjoying it.

FYP : So you are being neglected as well? Welcome to the family!

Me : Quiet Please! Their due dates earlier, of course I have to spend more time with them before they ‘passed away’. Be compassionate please, you all.

ITPMP : (Sobbing) But you abandoned me for months! MONTHS!!

FYP : ITPMP, just deal with it. Don’t cry like a baby. It’s annoying.

ITPMP : (Cry even louder)

Me : Okay okay, I will deal with you (ITPMP) after……

ITPMP : (happier) after what? After what?

Me : …After I finished FYP’s interim report..

ITPMP : What!?

FYP : (big grin) Finally it’s my turn.

PFRP : (bugging) How about me? How about me?

FYP : (stare at PFRP) You? You slowly wait your turn la. Your due date hasn’t even been announced. And I’m on due coming Wednesday. You can’t compete with me! Hahaha.

Me : Er.. Sorry FYP, I forget that tomoro is due date for IFP. So, today… err.. kinda have to ignore you.

FYP : WHAT? Then how about tomoro?

Me : Friday is.. ITPM Case Study’s due… (oops)

FYP : I thought you already finished them? Are you trying to cheat me?

Me : I had finished my part, but I still have to compile them and check errors. It takes time… especially..

FYP : Zzz

Me : I know you all are impatient.. I had uploaded a table on your due dates. So, you all can somehow figure out your priority based on the table. Don’t disturb me anymore.

ITPMP : You ignore me! Fine! Don’t regret.. Semester is going to end. And you need to develop a prototype for presentation later. And you haven’t started anything yet.. Later you are going to give trouble to yourself!

Me : (worried) errm.. er… But your actual due date is not known yet.

ITPMP : You won’t have time when you find out the actual due date. Hmmp~ (left without bringing a cloud [Chinese idiom])

Me : She is right.. (Thinking)

PFRP : (Disturbing) How about me?? How about me??

Me : Shut up PFRP!

My Gang

2010-10-07T14:50:00.000+08:00

'Note: This post is dedicated to my 6 members of my gang during my high school. It could be uninteresting if you dunno who are they. But anyway, if you wish to know about my high school friends or simply with the intention to kill time, you may continue reading. (dun say i didnt remind you oh~)

Before i start telling stories and describing, i have to say everything written here is only from my point of view. They might think differently and could have categorized another gang as the closest gang they had. Also, don’t be angry if you do not find yourself in the list. Definitely, you will be in somebody else’s list. And who knows the next time I write something like this, you will be in the list? Anyway, this gang is the most enjoyable and memorable gang that I have during my highschool (and now). Let me introduce them one by one in alphabetical order:

Name: Eng Kah Joon

Description: He is actually younger than all of us, coz he is a PTS student. Though he is the youngest, he probably doesn't look the youngest. Haha. I'm sure almost everyone knows the story of my BGS during standard six. And yes, he was my fighting-mate. Not the kind who fight along side with me, but the one who is fighting with me. lol. I have to admit he was one of the most 'not closest' member in the gang. He was more like a friends' friend in the gang. We don't really talk and hangout by ourselves, due to some unknown reasons (maybe not given the opportunity or don't have too identical common interest)

Recent: Glad to say, our friendship is closer now. I would have to thank facebook for that. And yes, he is more like a facebook-mate. I believe most of you know how active i am in facebook, and I'm sure he is either as active as me or even surpass me. We frequently comment on each other's walls. How about in reality? Sadly, we don't really hang out much. And he often ffk me by saying he is broke (bankrupt). But nevertheless, we are still good friends. He didn’t change much compared to last time. Probably he is more SS (syok sendiri) than before [note: he was already quite SS last time, but now even MORE SS] And i think his emo rate is higher compared to last time. Always frustrate with things that don’t run so smoothly. Anyway, I guess all of us are the same. Our emo rate is definitely higher when we are older.

Name: Ho Joon Heng

Description: He is like an observer in the gang. He doesn't really voice out his thought, and doesn’t really involve directly in most of the 'dramatic scenes' in the gang. He enjoys watching 'drama' instead of involving in the 'drama'. I'm not sure if you all get the wrong idea or not, he is not the batu api kind who enjoys watching 'dramatic events' (or maybe he is?). It's just very unlikely that he is involved in a conflict because he usually tolerates with people. Perhaps he could have been the most likable person in the gang due to his peace-minded nature. However, this doesn’t mean that he won’t become emo, when he is emo, it's like volcano eruption. Volcano that always erupts is not scary, but the sudden and rare eruption volcano is the greatest fear. He is kind in nature and seldom says no when people seek help from him. This could be a good thing or maybe a bad thing. (of coz it's a good thing to us). To me, in high school, he was more like a gang member rather than a close friend. This is because 2 of us don't really talk/hangout/play with each other a lot. Most of the time, we hang out/talk/play in a gang. And that's why he was more like a gang member.
Recent: Since he went to the Lost World (a world that is really lost, in season 6 Lost) after he moved his house for dunno how many times, there's a slight fading in terms of friendship. Luckily, our relationship is much better now because he is one of the gang members who studies at the same uni. And that breaks the 'gang-member' status to a closed friend status. It's always good to have old friend in campus. Old friends are always more trustable and sincere, in my opinion. Compare to last time, probably he is more quiet now. And his "throw-face" rate (self embarassing rate) greatly reduces recently.

Name: Ho Tet Khiun

Description: He was my best friend during high school (sad to use the word ‘was’). We went through a lot of things together, including: class-table-mate, tuition, tai chi society, librarian, staying-over, game-mate, etc… I realize most of our conversation topics are related to games and studies. We both had quite-close-to-each-other results during our high school time. We love to talk about how stupid the subjects (or the teachers) and we often make a long duration phone call on the conversation related to studies and games. We had a quite similar thinking in high school and we were closed to each other to the extent that we know what each other is thinking in our minds. We like to crap, and the most commonly used crapping style is the ‘imaginative style’. You have to really imagine the situation then only you know how hilarious it is. Many people cannot catch our craps (but I think joon heng can). I remember one funny crap is about “chia hui and kai yee doing break dance”. Because two of them are very gentle and lady-like, picturing two of them break dancing are just hilarious.
Recent: We still contact each other quite a lot when he was in form 6. But sadly, after he went to UKM, we don’t really see each other as much as previously. Fortunately, he started to get involved into the power of internet and thus we still managed to keep in touch quite well. Our friendship does not really fade much even after he went to KL. Anyway, I believe most people notice the most obvious change he had compared to previously is his style.. in terms of appearance. He tends to follow the trend recently and unlike last time, like all of us, who did not really care how ugly we look like.

Name: Tan Kean Zhi
Description: He is usually the ‘villain’ in the group. Not because he is very evil, but everyone tends to make him become the ‘bad person’ in the group. In other words, we like to blame or accuse him for something he had or had not done. It’s quite cham actually, but it has become a habit among us. However, there’s a reason why I treat him like that. This is because… he always irritates me by testing my patience level. I know he isn’t purposely trying to make me angry; it’s more like he ‘naturally’ irritates me. He has the poorest speech-understanding ability in the group. And sometimes his hearing capability is not so well (plus I talk quickly and softly), I often get frustrated to repeat the same sentences to him again and again. And one more, he has a very bad sense of humour. He always succeed to make us froze with his sentences. Of course, he has his good sides. People might not notice, he is actually very helpful (to me, at least). He was my add math teacher (much better than the real teacher) during my secondary school. He also does NOT have the typical bad syndromes that other members have (slow reply sms speed, never punctual in outing). Besides his annoying attitude, I know he is a reliable friend. Whenever I face any difficulty, he could be the most ‘willing’ helper I can have.

Recent: I don’t think he has changed much. Maybe he has reduced his annoying level and probably his tolerance level. In my opinion, he is the most sensitive person in the gang. He can be very caring and careful towards your needs. And maybe that’s why he wants others to treat him the same (which sadly, in our gang, I don’t think anyone of us is as sensitive as him).
Name: Wong Ze-Hao

Description: What can I say about him? He is like destined to be my entertainment-mate. There are two main things we do together: PLAY and CRAP. He is the most flexible companion of all, which he can almost attend each and every outing invitation. Because we stay in the same neighborhood, it’s even easier for us to hang out together. We played a lot of common games and our conversation mainly based on games. And he is a great crapper… he has the ‘crap aura’ that increases my crapping skill by 30% and throw-face level by 50% when he is around. He is most probably the ‘fun’est companion to hang out with. And we can be really mad in gaming… By the way, one important trait of him is his eating capability. He is tall and thin (maybe skinny) but he can eat double or triple or quadruple of my consumption amount. Therefore, he is usually the finisher of a meal, or the backup stomach. If your stomach cannot fit all the food that you have ordered, you can place them in his stomach. The real capacity of his stomach remains a mystery. But I witnessed him eating 7 rounds in a buffet meal. So worth the money.
Recent: Once he is away from Ipoh, we don’t really play games and hangout together due to the distance. However, the relationship doesn’t seem to be fading. Because, as long as he returns to hometown, we know… it will be an Intensive gaming time! Also, he doesn’t change much, I think. We still crap in the same way like we did in high school. Probably he has reduced his throw-face level when he is in Penang. In ipoh too, he might have restrained himself from too embarrassing himself by maybe mere 5%? Haha.

Name: Yong Ta Lung

Description: He could be described as the most inactive member in the gang during high school. Strictly speaking, he might not be in the same gang with us during high school. Same to Kah Joon, he was more like a friend’s (zehao’s) friend at that time. The opportunity to strengthen the friendship was gone when he went to MRSM while form 4. Honestly I don’t really know him back then. Of course, we were still friends, just not much a close friend.

Recent: Our friendship would have remained the same or worse if I had not gone to KL for my internship. Different from others, he was the one gang mate that I hang out most frequently with when I was in KL. And from there, I began to know him more. And thus, most of his personality will be described in this ‘Recent’ section. I realize he is quite a thoughtful person. And somehow he can maintain a non-hostile position. In other words, he seldom makes people hate him (at least that’s what I think). A bit similar like Joon Heng, he knows more how to ‘deal with people’. He is very tolerant and thus making others feel comfortable with him. Well, maybe we still aren’t very close, that’s why he did not irritate me yet, or probably it’s just his nature. Same like Kean Zhi, he is one of the most punctual members here. And unfortunate to him, he usually has to wait for our late arrival due to his punctuality.

Conclusion
You might want to ask the reason I write this post. Frankly, I’m not so sure. Probably, in my final year, I feel stressed and it makes me start to appreciate friends. Or maybe, I simply want to kill time. In my opinion, the old friends are the purest friend. We become friends because we want to be friends. Sad to say, new friends (after entering uni) aren’t that ‘pure’. Although it may not be true, but I think most of our friendship are based on either common goals, mutual benefits or various situations rather than based on a true friendship. It’s not to say they aren’t good friends or they are not trustable. It’s just the feeling, it’s different. This gang I am having gives me the feeling of the naïve and pure friendship. And it is often stress-free when being with them. Well, contradict to the people’s common understanding towards the friendship/gang, I don’t really tell them my secrets or ‘heart problems’. When there’s problem, there comes sadness. I want to maintain this gang/group to be the stress-free and a gang of Joy. I don’t want to pollute it with my stressful problems. (except studies matters, which I almost shoutout everyday recently)
Although I’m the third oldest in the gang, I feel like I am being taken care by them, especially by Kean Zhi, Joon Heng and Ta lung. And of course, without Ze Hao, Kah Joon and Tet Khiun, it will be so much less of fun in the group. I know maybe I am the ‘dictator’ of the group, maybe the most sarcastic member of the gang, maybe the fiercest person among all of us. I am grateful that you all can accept my bad behavior. Tell me if you think I have been offended you too much. I will try to change (try only). Lol.
I sincerely hope our friendship will last, because it really has much enjoyable memory with you guys. Especially for Kah Joon and Tet Khiun who will be the future doctors, most likely they will either be arrogant or too busy to entertain us in the future. Lol. Anyway, thank you all of you for being my friends and providing me happiness. I really treasure our friendship! And good luck for our futures.

First Mass Bday Celebration


Second Mass Bday Celebration


Third Mass Bday Celebration


Friends Forever

Anti Social

2010-10-04T13:28:00.000+08:00

I got to admit i'm having the 'anti-social mind' after my internship. It's weird though, i used to be so (too/over) friendly last time. And now, sometimes i just lazy to talk to some people. Fortunately, i am still as usual to those old buddies. But to those stranger-friends, i really tired of 'entertaining' them. Sometimes, when I saw them ahead, i would pretend i didnt see them by looking elsewhere or pretend thinking something. Of course, it's unavoidable to greet them by waving my hand slightly or a smile when we have a direct confrontation. It would be a bit rude to ignore people when they know you saw them.

Sometimes, when people invite me for some gathering or events, i would always reject the invitation. Unless it's a bunch of close friends (which rarely the case), i will not attend. Usually it's more to a situation in which a few close friends together with a few stranger-friends. And those stranger-friends are the reasons that i declined the invitation.

Hard to deny, some friends are getting more distant. They are degrading from Friends level to Stranger-friends. How could one keep the friendship working without interacting with each other?

The greatest problem of all, is i dun even try to change this anti social mind. Though i do feel quite lonely often, i do not intend to change the way it is. And i'm totally okay with the current situation.

Anyway, after my short analysis, i figure the reason of being antisocial could be one or combination of those:
1. After internship, things become dull and less interesting, thus losing the socializing spirit.
2. My batchmates are having their internship now, which makes me pretty lonely in uni. The ratio of close friends to stranger-friends is imbalance.
3. My seniors had graduated while there are many other young and super young juniors around. It makes the ratio of people-i-know to people-i-dunno imbalance.
4. I simply getting older, and not as enthusiastic as before.

Should I change?

Ilham fails me

2010-10-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

I feel like writing a post.. but i dunno what to write. Usually this means it will be a crappy post again. but let's see, let the 'ilham' guide me.

Let's talk about Saturday. To me, saturday is a rest day or a play day. omg. so boring topic. haha.. ilham fails me. dun want to write liao. T.T

Psychological Test

2010-09-30T19:54:00.001+08:00

Answer the questions using ur instinct, dun think too much.
1. During dinner, there's a table of food, what's the first food comes into your mind?

2. When you are going to sleep, an unknown number calls, will you pick up the phone?

3. You awake at the midnight, and you hear sound of a little girl crying outside your room, you open the door and what do you think you will see?.

Please answer the questions above before you read the bottom.
Analysis:

1. If the first food comes into your mind is western food, means you like western food.
If the first food comes into your mind is chinese food, means you like chinese food.
If the first food comes into your mind is malay/indian food, means you like malay/indian food.

2. If you pick up the phone, means you are willing to pick up the phone.
If you dont pick up the phone, means you are not willing to pick up the phone.

3. If you see a ghost, means you believe in ghost.
If you see a normal little girl crying, means you believe in normal little girl crying.
If you see nothing, it DOESNT mean you believe in nothing.

I hope this psychological test helps you all understand yourself better. LOL!

a little emo for unknown reason.

2010-09-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

I am feeling a little emo for unknown reason. Usually, I would guess that the emoness is related to academic. But i feel there's more than that. Something else is bothering me, but i do not know what the something is. This is annoying. z.z

Good Luck Huh?

2010-09-26T14:34:00.000+08:00

I thought i become stupid after internship. Not only stupid, but lazier too. Basically the equation of studies is like this:

Academic Performance = Smart * Hard Work (Effort spent on studying)

In other words, to achieve the same result, smart people don't need to study that hard while not-that-smart people have to study harder. And now, refer to the first paragraph, i have not only bcome stupid'er but also lazier. Hmmm.. based on the equation, my academic performance should be dropped like shit. BUT, amazingly, it didn't. Good luck huh?

Perhaps i'm not that stupid as i thought. My intelligence somehow remains after all those rotten days. Quite unlikely, but possible. Or maybe I'm not that lazy as i thought. But that's impossible, i know how lazy i am. Or the last possiblity is due to pure luck?

Honestly, for the first test, I scored quite well, better than i expected. If you count the average, out of three tests i actually score an average mark of 9.8/10. Frankly, i was a bit amazed by myself. And i admit that i didnt study very hard. So what? i am still smart or i'm just lucky?

I knew being arrogant will later has its consequences. And after i got an A for my internship, I don't really have much worries (except for the annoying project). Should I continue rotting myself? Well, i know the answer in rational wise, moral wise, society wise and common sense wise, the answer is no. But..

Back to issue, i think it is really just lucky.. I can foresee some A- this semester. It's time to drop my cgpa, or like some fellows said, "it's time to balance up your cgpa" Balance up? Balance down will be more appropriate.

Blog Name Changed

2010-09-22T21:23:00.001+08:00

Obvious, isn't it? I just changed my blog name.
Doesn't it sound more adult? I'm already 21... Dunno why, feel a bit sad when i typed that sentence. haha.
Oh yeah, i will also add label to every blogpost now. So you can kind of guess what kind of content it is about.

Btw, happy mooncake festival! :-)

by Wei Han

My Resident Evil Dream

2010-09-20T15:31:00.002+08:00

This awesome dream happened last night. In the beginning of the dream (at least i thought it was the beginning), I was in this room. Many green waste and bad odour. Well, i was in a dream (which i dunno at that moment), i totally dunno why was i there and what i were doing there. I saw a few of my friends or colleagues (i knew i know them, but they arent anyone in the real world), they are cleaning up the place. I dun exactly know what activities they are doing. Then, there is this warning or reminder to tell us something like final reminder thingy.

I felt sick, it's hard to explain, a bit hard to breathe and wanted to cough and vomit or so. So, i wanted to get some fresh air. I opened the door to the exit, which i wondered why was it so hard to open. Then i went out, and i saw my colleagues all yelled at me. but i couldnt hear them... And suddenly, i mean really suddenly, i know what all these are about. We are infected with virus, we are supposed to stay at the room to self 'cleaning', yeah, i mean suicide so that the virus will not get spreaded to outside world.

I wanted to get back to the room, but it was too late, the door couldnt be opened anymore. And cruel indeed, i saw my friends in the room were all burned alive. I was not really sad at the moment, though i could somehow heard their scream of pain. I felt guilty, coz literally, i spread the virus to the outside world. I continue coughed a while, and have the feeling of nausea. I gotta tell someone else, and i looked like a zombie. I went to the main gate and trying to search for someone that i could tell what had happened. But they are just general public, and i do not know them, so i fainted a while on the ground.

I woke up due to the strong flashes, i opened my eyes and found many reporters taking picture in front. and there are a huge crowd staring at me with police or so. Yeah, yeah, i know i look like a zombie but i was not yet a zombie. Anyway, i found the company's CEO or what among the crowd. She definitely looks like a resident evil character. Anyway, i was still inside the building and the crowd was outside the building separated by the main gate. The CEO came forward and talked to me (she knows me, we are friends, i guess). Then i told her what happened, about the experiement failure, and the virus spread and what she should do. And i feel like dying.

She nodded her head and back away.. After i achived my mission, which is telling the last words, i stop struggling and lie down and died. And here's the part i woke up from dream. Awesome dream right? Luckily i didnt continue dreaming seeing how i bcome zombie and bite ppl and transform other ppl to zombies and continue bite ppl's scene. that will be a geli, even though the zombie is myself.

This story actually brings me some meaning. In some of the cases, we made mistakes accidentally but not intentionally. It's who to be blamed if things happen like that? Hmm.. i certainly blame myself for causing the virus spread. but.. by blaming myself, how does it help the situation? it doesnt. And since it already happens, what can i do to prevent the virus spread? nothing. hmmm~

Due Date.

2010-09-18T02:41:00.002+08:00

alert: this post is very not interesting. bcoz i'm actually writing wat i'm thinking, jz to release stress maybe. i didnt try to use words and sentences that could sound entertaining nor interesting to the readers. so, i dun recommend u to read, but if u insist reading it, i couldnt do anything.

Yesterday night (Thursday 10pm), one of my groupmate told me (after i asked her things related to the project) that we had to submit a progress report on coming Monday. I really 'love' the lecturer, she didnt even tell us this, and she posted this up in elearning when we were off to raya holiday. And ppl with conscious minds know that people wont go to elearning during holiday except those insane ppl. (what? u are one of them? sorry, but... no excuse, u are indeed insane if u go elearning during holiday)

Okay, so what now? we had done NOTHING for the project. So how are we going to submit a PROGRESS report while we had no progress at all? hmm.. worried, and a bit panic and alot lot of stress. I'm telling my groupmates, they dun nid to sleep on sunday night. We have to rush the report by hook or by crook, maybe creating some false progress or craps, i dunno! but we have to fix this! However, i know, last minute work is always bad, and cant score. So, i'm feeling sad. Sad + stressed are deadly!

Now is saturday early morning (3am), and why didnt i start doing it on friday? reason? i couldnt access elearning. and now i could access elearning (at 1am), and i dun want to do. reason? no mood. what does that mean? no cure! stressed but want to start doing it... and the only way to solve the 'stress' is to start doing it. but i'm not doing it, so i continue feel stressed. i shud slp, right? but i dun feel like sleeping? stupid? yeah. i wanted to delay.. to later.. and later and later.. this sem i always delaying work. why? i dunno. bad? yes. fix it? no. zzzz

ok, whatever, jz to type the first thing came into my mind. this post is special. i didnt think what i'm going to write. i'm writign what i am thinking at the moment. so, it could be a bit confusing, u know la, brain processes thing quite fast and complicated. anyway, that's all for this post. wasted ur time reading it? i think so. let me now add an alert in the beginning of the post to warn u all not to read this post.

Those Birthday Cards

2010-09-10T02:39:00.005+08:00

Do you keep the birthday cards people gave you? I am, at least for a period of time. I was asked by my mom to clean up those birthday cards. On my first thought, i was planning to continue keeping them. However, i understand those cards cannot be kept forever, one day i'm going to get rid of them anyway. Thus, i decided to throw some of them.

Of course, there are cards more 'valuable' than the others. Those cards with 'forwarded messages' were thrown without mercy. For some closer ones, they might deserve to be kept longer. I was reading through all those cards before i decide whether to get rid of them. And HERE COMES THE MAIN POINT OF THE BLOGPOST:

Reading back those cards, it makes me recall many blissful events and friendship. I even got amazed by how close we were last time. Those memory are just so worth remembering. Seeing the closeness we had last time, comparing to the strange and distant friendship we are having now, I am puzzled how could this happen. Nevertheless, I am not sad about it, i understand most relationship fades after sometime. I am glad that at least we had that memory with us and i am grateful that you participated in part of my life.

I never doubt the influence power of friendship. i proudly admit everyone of you helps shaping me to what i am now. (lol, as if i am giving a speech after earning a great achievement). Be good or bad, I thank you all for building my character and continue building it. I know i might be different from how i was last time, i might be more snobbish, more annoying, more impolite maybe? Anyway, i just want to say although i might give up or let go of some fading friendship, but i wont reject any friendship. (i know no 'but' after 'although', it just sounds right) If you feel that our friendship is fading or faded, and you want to rescue it, please inform me, we can do it together!

Of course, saying things is easier than doing them. I'm not going to guarantee all 'rescue' operations are going to succeed but, at least we try! So, just give me a call (not recommended, i dun really like being called, fyi), sms, or a message through facebook/msn will do. As long as I am not busy, i will entertain you. :)

Above paragraph may lead to one question from others: "Why not you take initiative to send message or call others instead?" Answers for this question may lead to another long blogpost, but anyway i will answer a little bit here. Yes, i did take initiative sometimes. Some of them turn into a great conversation but some of them just become awkward. It's hard to explain. Besides, there is another one more reason, a critical one: recently i get a little bit anti-social. Lazy to talk to people, lazy to meet new people, lazy to mix with others .... i dunno why, maybe that's what happen after you have a gf? haha. that's just a joke. (though it possibly makes sense, lol) Think about it, after knowing her, i almost never sms anyone else besides her. Power of love?? LoL

Getting a little bit out of topic, anyway, feel free to contact me if you think we should have a rescue operation on our friendship. My phone number is 012-389826312. (if you notice, the number has more than 10 digits. this means.. i am giving a fake number! Please la, I'm not that friendly till reveal my numbers to everyone. Later, too many people want to meet me, then i will have less time to do our 'rescue operation'. lol... before u puke, let me explain that this self-boasting characteristic are something i learned from colleagues during my internship.) Anyway, if you notice, it is getting more and more out of topic, with more and more craps. Just for your information, the word 'anyway' is a very powerful word to divert us back to the main point. So, anyway, i think i'd conveyed all messages i wanted to deliver. All sentences after this sentence are craps.. But if you insist reading it, you can proceed reading it. Dont say i didnt remind u ya.